Enjoy departure as much as arrival

He also said “The way to do is to be,” which sounds like a Little Richard lyric and is as useful in an everyday context, but travellers will appreciate that getting a long journey off on the right foot makes a difference. Getting incredibly stressed just before you get in a sealed airborne cylinder is not good for anyone’s psyche.

OR Tambo International Airport’s Shongololo Lounge, run by Menzies Aviation, is, if you are fortunate enough to earn an invite by buying a business or first class ticket or be a guest of someone with a billion air miles to spend, a good spot from which to launch a holiday or business trip.

It’s not the most subtle environment, fitted out with big, gaudy furniture and ostrich feather lampshades. But that in-your-face effect is part of the charm. It’s a room in which you feel pampered to some degree, even if that’s only because you don’t need to shunt someone’s day-old newspaper off a steel bench that will leave you with an aching bum by the time you’re called for boarding.

There’s complimentary computer, Internet and Wi-Fi access if you’d like to do some work or surf the Web, and a small buffet and well-equipped bar if you’d like to fill in for the breakfast you missed out on by leaving early, or just stuff your face for the sake of it.

Near the door is a wall filled with photographs of celebrities who’ve plonked their famous bums in the very seat in which you’re lounging. They’re a bewilderingly diverse bunch, ranging from Zinedine Zidane, Neil Diamond, Mick Jagger and Katy Perry to Pretoria’s own Kurt Darren. That’s hardly going to make a difference to the average customer –favoured souvenirs are more likely to include things like a packet of crisps or a copy of a magazine – but if you’re the sort for whom the term “VIP” is a badge to be worn with pride, you’ll probably be chuffed to be considered in such company.

The cosmetic impact of the lounge is only a minor part of its appeal, though. Of much greater value is the chance to take a shower if necessary – one of the major issues with long-haul travel is the sheer amount of time between washing before you leave home and running a bath when you eventually get to the other side –and the means to make that otherwise dead time spent waiting after checking in but before boarding in any airport.

There are a number of nooks and corners if you’re alone and don’t feel the need to engage the suspiciously cheerful foreigner who wants to try out his English, and several other areas that are more group-friendly. And because everything in the lounge is complimentary (getting in is the tricky part; you need to have an invitation card), you can easily make new friends by standing and announcing, “The next round’s on me, everyone!”

Now those are words to live by, Mr Tzu.