Columnists 10.1.2018 02:26 pm

The wear and tear of the constant Kohli Show

Jaco van der Merwe.

Jaco van der Merwe.

On the letters page of this newspaper, readers constantly air their grievances with the amount of repeats aired by Mzansi’s premier pay television provider DStv.

I’m going to throw my hat in the ring too today and join the choir of complainants.

I too can’t stand being confronted with seeing the same thing over and over again.

God bless the weather and the Proteas’ merciless bowling attack wiping out two days’ play during the first Test at Newlands, or else I would have had to look at Virat Kohli’s face for five long days.

Is it just me, or does Indian skipper Kohli appear on screen more often than any other cricket captain in the world?

You people whining about series repeats have it lucky, it’s much easier to ignore a repeated programme every second day than it is seeing a close-up of Kohli 13 times every hour, six hours a day for every day of a Test match.

That doesn’t even include the interview after the toss and the post-match talk.

The fact that Kohli is such an intense individual makes it quite easy for people to dislike him for his antics and I guess that would contribute to my elevated levels of annoyance.

I mean seriously, he doesn’t even have to bat or take a catch to get airtime.

An Indian bowler can pick up a wicket without the captain being involved in the dismissal, we are bound to see Kohli’s reaction in the live celebration and a replay of his expression as it happened.

When he does take the catch or stops the ball, even worse, then he stays on screen throughout the action like when he is batting.

And even when he isn’t on the field at all, the producers make sure we see him in what seems like once an over in his strategically positioned spot in the centre of the dressing-room seating arrangement.

Gesturing to backroom staff, talking to the coach or commenting on a review replay.

And even as another batsman will finally get some airtime of his own after scoring a hundred, his celebrations are bound to be interrupted by Kohli clapping away.

It’s become so bad that I’ve started figuring there’s a clause in the broadcasting contract stipulating strict guidelines around showing Kohli as often as possible.

It’s not that all far-fetched in India, as the massive figure forked out by broadcasting companies to buy the television rights for India’s
international series is exactly what has made the Indian cricket bosses so powerful in the global game.

And Kohli is their biggest asset by far, so it makes perfect sense to request your main mackie is paraded around 24/7.

I could still stomach the constant Kohli Show during series played in India, purely because I won’t watch as much of it as I
would during the current series.

What is currently going on in our own backyard is beyond my realms of tolerance.

But like the annoyed DStv subscribers have found out over the years, whining’s not going to solve
anything.

So I propose a drinking game during the second Test in Centurion.

Take two sips of your dop everytime they show Kohli from the first cross over on Saturday.

I guarantee you you won’t be standing by lunchtime.

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