On tour with the Lions: Classy players, embarrassing moments
From seeing a young Alun Wyn Jones running around butt naked in the Sandton Convention Centre to not recognising Riki Flutey shortly after a game.
Ugo Monye (left) celebrates with Lions team-mate Phil Vickery (right) after the British and Irish Lions victory in the third Test against the Springboks at Ellis Park in 2009. Picture: David Rogers/Getty Images
It’s always sad when the captain of the opposing team misses the tour due to injury before it has even started, especially when it is a classy rugby player such as Alun Wyn Jones.
I was curious about the veteran Welsh prop’s second British and Irish Lions tour to South Africa because his 2009 venture ended in rather inelegant fashion.
The last time I saw Jones in the flesh – and it was a lot of flesh – was when he was running around butt naked in the Sandton Convention Centre and then proceeded to urinate under one of the banquet tables. It was the final night of the tour and there had been an official farewell function, after which the Lions retired to their own after-party.
Certain members of the media had their own little shindig after the formalities as well, and I was wandering back out of the building when I heard noise coming from one of the halls, poked my head through the door and saw the unforgettable sight of Jones letting loose.
It was one of the abiding memories of the five weeks I spent covering that Lions tour, from the sea to the Highveld, and what an experience it was.
The tour kicked off on May 30 at the Royal Bafokeng Stadium in Rustenburg as the Lions played against a Highveld XV, made up of players from the central unions excluding the Lions and the Bulls.
After playing the Golden Lions and the Free State Cheetahs in Johannesburg and Bloemfontein respectively, the Lions then decamped to the coast for a string of three matches in Durban, Cape Town and Port Elizabeth before the first Test at Kings Park on June 20.
The Lions had to return to a sodden Newlands three days later to draw 13-13 with the Emerging Springboks and then the last two Tests were played at Loftus Versfeld and Ellis Park.
There was always a sea of red spectators in the stadiums and most of those jolly travellers then drank their fill in whatever establishments were nearby the match venues. I remember after the Lions beat the Southern Kings 20-8, all the pubs along the beachfront in Port Elizabeth ran dry. Even the Boardwalk Casino ran out of stock.
The wonderful thing about a Lions tour is that when your national team is done facing the best of Great Britain and Ireland on the field, there is always tremendous camaraderie after the game. What could be better than talking rugby with like-minded revellers?
One such occasion did lead to me losing face, however, and I felt as embarrassed as I hope Jones did the next morning.
It was after the Western Province match at Newlands on June 13 and the Cape Town weather was foul on that night too. But nevertheless all the drinking holes along Main Road were packed to the rafters as a crowd of 34,000 poured out of the stadium.
I found myself deep in discussion with a group of people and, pride always coming before a fall, I was very up front that I was covering the entire tour for international news agency Reuters. What an expert I was.
Standing next to me was an interesting fellow who had an unusual accent – either Australian or Kiwi (it was getting late and I wasn’t sure) – for someone watching a British and Irish Lions tour.
So I asked him what an Antipodean was doing following the tour and the words were no sooner out of my mouth when I realised what a complete idiot I was.
Standing next to me was Riki Flutey, the New Zealand-born centre, who had played for the Lions in that very match that night. Fortunately there were some sturdy pillars in this bar/restaurant and I rapidly slid behind the one next to me.
What an expert I was.
Despite that one humiliating moment, it is going to be utterly frustrating not having those crowds on this tour. But we will roar the Springboks along nevertheless, knowing that there will be many thousands of others roaring along the Lions in front of their screens on the other side of the equator.
It should still be a rollicking five weeks of rugby.
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