If only internet trolls could hack our greatest sporting heartaches…

Even during lockdown, there was nowhere to hide for Scottish Swimming this week.

Internet trolls sabotaged the body’s live family workout video stream on broadcasting service Zoom by displaying X-rated content much to the shock of the 300-odd viewers.

The broadcast was swiftly shut down and the incident reported to the authorities, but even if the perpetrators pay the price, the damage has been done as many children were exposed to the broadcast.

It’s this very inability to “unsee” things that had me thinking.

How many horrors and disappointments are we as passionate sports fans exposed to over the course of our lives by those very teams and individuals we adore so much, invest thousands of hours of emotion into, and spend big bucks on tickets, jerseys and tattoo ink across our chests?

Maybe there is a way of rectifying some wrongs.

What if we feed our minds with contrary evidence aimed at eventually replacing the painful memories?

After all, they say the more you tell yourself a lie, the more prone you are to believing yourself.

A cricket website is running a series of alternative endings to famous events while the cricketing world has been shut down.

In one of them, the writer fabled the 2015 World Cup semifinal to one where Dale Steyn bowls Grant Elliott and the Proteas go on to beat Australia in the final.

It’s a great thought, but somehow lacks appeal due to the absence of visuals.

If those cunning hackers can intercept a live broadcast, surely they can manipulate the archives too.

Just imagine watching the 1999 Rugby World Cup semifinal and instead of cringing when Stephen Larkham launched his audacious
attempt at a drop goal, we see the ball fade past the right upright.

Jannie de Beer gathers the ball, bombs a kick into the Australian half where kicking hero Matt Burke turns villain by knocking on straight into the uncoming Pieter Rossouw’s hands and who dots down under the uprights for the winning score.

In the computer-simulated final, Bok captain Joost van der Westhuizen scores a brace against the hapless France.

And what about instead of holding his ground at Edgbaston in the 1999 Cricket World Cup, Allan Donald pins his ears back and runs the quick single with Lance Klusener to take the Proteas to the final?

Okay maybe there are some things that’s simply won’t happen even in a fantasy world.

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