Time for sex and remembering a pea-growing Silesian monk

Thoroughbred horse sex is way more complicated than the human variety. No slap and tickle as the fancy takes one; it has to be meticulously calculated and should even take cognisance of the musings of a strange 19th century Silesian monk, among other things.

It’s about genetics and finding magical combinations of them. Anyone who’s delved into this realm will know how brain-numbingly complex it is. There are many horse-breeding theories, all to do with duplicating desirable qualities of the parents. OK, just the one quality: running bliksem fast.

“Family numbers”, “dosages” and “cluster mares” are among the notions to investigate. Perhaps the golden rule is “the nick”, a proven good mating cross.

The man to blame for this is Gregor Mendel, a monk who tended the monastery vegetable garden and experimented with crossbreeding peas. He uncovered a world of recessive and dominant genes and a way to predictably replicate certain genetic characteristics.

But Mendelian theory is just half of the gene equation, namely backcross pedigree breeding to ingress a qualitative gene. The other half is quantitative genetics to accumulate good additive genes.

Dead simple.

Luckily, we have Federico Tesio, a 20th-century Italian politician cum racing trainer, to help us. Tesio bred several superior horses – notably Nearco, granddad of Northern Dancer, the Canadian legend that became the greatest of all sires.

The Tesio method involves line breeding, multiplying lines of superior ancestors and bringing siblings into the family mix.

Still confused? Fear not, nowadays a computer does all the thinking. Right now, TesioPower programmes are whirring away in search of the new Do It Again.

Once the machine has spat out names of available stallions that might fit the bill for one’s unwitting mares, one turns to Sires 2020, the breeders’ handbook published by Raceform.

All stallions standing in the country are listed, with lots of info about bloodlines and racing deeds. Sometimes a “covering” price is advertised, sometimes not. If you want five-time champion sire Silvano to roger your mare, you’ll have to phone Maine Chance Farms to find out how much it’ll cost you.

Silvano will be expensive – at least six figures for a service that might last less than a minute. A few years ago, the top covering price in South Africa was R250,000 – for the likes of Western Winter, Jet Master and Dynasty (all now deceased).

“Fee on application” also applies to proven, in-demand sires such as Trippi and Var, along with the likes of regally-bred recent American import Uncle Mo.

The highest price mentioned in the handbook is R75,000 for rising star Gimmethegreenlight. Sprinting blood can be had from What A Winter at R60,000, with more stamina available from Querari at R55,000 and Vercingetorix at R50,000.

Two-time Durban July champ Do It Again’s father, Twice Over, looks a bargain at R10,000, while Potala Palace and Jackson at R5,000 are likely to be kept busy.

Fees are usually payable on the birth of a live foal.

Once a stallion has been selected and booked, mares must be transported to the fellow’s farm for the big moment.

And that’s how racing dreams are made.

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