The fine art of naming racehorses: Part 2

Luckily people can change the labels stuck on them by drug-addled or celebrity-obsessed folks. Dumb animals can’t right such wrongs of owners, but at least they are oblivious to how silly – or witty – humans can get.

Racehorses, in particular, often end up with daft names – as revealed here last week. Indeed, there would appear to be no end to the madness.

UK race commentators have been asked to describe the performance of the horse Thenameescapesme – as in, “… and the winner is … Thenameescapesme”.

Then there are Chocfulladrugs, Givemeanothername, Hahahahaha, Aaarrrrr and Maythehorsebewithyou.

The shortest name on record is that of Chilean horse I, we are informed.

The traditional way in thoroughbred breeding is to name a foal according to the sire or dam, or both. For example, 2010 Durban July winner Bold Silvano has an identity deriving from father Silvano and mother Bold Saffron. That has to be one of the more prosaic and unimaginative examples of the practise.

Other July-winning names have been a lot smarter: Left Wing (by Democratic out of Red Sails), Space Walk (Dancing Champ-Star Crest) and London News (Bush Telegraph-Soho Secret). Bush Telegraph was himself brilliantly conceived – by Jungle Cove out of Maiden Over.

One of the cleverest South African names ever was that of 1984 Met winner Charles Fortune – the namesake of the legendary South African cricket commentator. The parents: Commentary and Treasure Path.

Another Met winner with a cricket link was Bunter Barlow (Fine Edge-Jungle Creature, with Wham Bam in the family). Old timers who saw the great Eddie Barlow carving fast bowlers over the slips will appreciate that one.

The Aussies take the wicket with The Gatting Ball, who is by Hard Spun out of Art of Deception.

For the non-cricketing: Aussie leg-break bowler Shane Warne dismissed England’s Mike Gatting with what became known as “The Ball of the Century”. Racing Post records that The Gatting Ball lived up to expectations on debut by drifting out before ducking in sharply.

Multiple champion stud Summerhill gives many foals Zulu names – appropriate with most of the farm’s horsemen being Zulus, but which has some broadcasters sounding silly as they try to get their tongues around the tones and clicks. One of the best of these nags was brilliant miler Imbongi (meaning praise singer), who was by Russian Revival out of Garden Verse, with Northern Dancer in the bloodline.

Summerhill imported and named July champion Igugu, a word that means jewel. Her dad was Galileo and her mom Zarinia, Arabic for golden.

South Africa has fewer naming rules than many other racing jurisdictions, though it does ostensibly bar obscenity and libel (see many an amusing example in Part 1, published on 22 January).

The likes of Takingthepeace and Joyphillypist have passed muster locally, but international policing has spotted and barred Ho Lee Fook, E Rex Sean, Sofa King Fast, Ophelia Balls and Two In The Pink (don’t even think of Googling it, advises Racing Post).

British authorities are known to pass every name application by the Urban Dictionary, which tries to keep up with the ever-changing world of vulgarity. A word that sets alarm bells ringing is Norfolk.

This month’s brilliant Queen’s Plate winner Vardy (Var-Cupid) would probably not be allowed on a racecourse in the UK or Ireland as the authorities there forbid naming a horse after a living person, or someone who has been dead for less than 50 years, without their permission.

An owner there could get the personal nod from Leicester City footballer Jamie Vardy to honour his goalscoring feats in horseflesh. Similarly, the families of the deceased can give permission.

Racing Post relates the story of a South African owner who fielded a runner called President Trump, who had to be gelded after proving “very vocal, “arrogant and “extremely stubborn”.

The National Horseracing Authority – possibly fearing a drone strike – decided the name was problematic and demanded a quick change. The gelding continued his career as Fake News.

In the rampantly superstitious world of racing, renaming a horse is sometimes regarded as unlucky.

Yet many a winner has run a other guises – perhaps the most recently famous being star South African colt Surcharge, who became Yulong Prince when he went to Hong Kong.

The American horse Covfefe has managed thus far to avoid being mentioned in tweets, but that might be because he hasn’t yet made it “huge”.

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