Investing in a good smile is shaping the teeth of destiny

This week, I shelled out multiple thousands of Rands to an extremely polite orthodontist in Rosebank, whose face I never got around to seeing. Let alone his teeth.

These days, you hardly see anyone’s face, but I couldn’t help thinking that when your outlay hits four or five figures, you should be entitled to at least a quick viewing of your supplier’s lower face.

That was not to be, although issues with the lower face were exactly what got us into that situation in the first place. My lovely child’s jaw is apparently too small to accommodate her emerging teeth, and hence the orthodontics.

I grudgingly compelled myself to source the funds for the dental procedure in question because I understand one of the unspoken truths of our time: teeth are destiny.

You can’t exactly say that good teeth guarantee success in life, but there are precious few successful, iconic achievers with terrible teeth!

No, not these days.

In the old punk-rock days, a few rockers had skew teeth, but even that seems to have faded from view. The grittiest, most, hardcore, streetwise rappers of today tend to be rocking flawless pearly-white sets of perfectly aligned incisors, if not a grill worth more than most family fortunes.

It seems that if you want to be famous, you can tattoo a face on your face, but you cannot allow your teeth to not be perfect.

Not that I insist on my daughter becoming famous, but I’d like her to have that option. As I explained to her the other day, I’d like her to have all the opportunities I can afford.

Let me tell you, I cannot afford the opportunities that good dentistry affords. But I do qualify for the overdraft that makes it possible for my daughter to become a rap superstar, if she so chooses.

If you need perfect teeth to become a Soundcloud rapper, I’m pretty sure they’re going to be helpful for accounting, data science, law, coding, engineering, virology or just about every career, by the time my little girl enters the work force.

Mainly, though, good teeth are about confidence. As my daughter was explaining to me, having good teeth makes you more willing to smile, less insecure about your appearance and generally more self assured.

The world runs on confidence.

That applies to stock markets, and it applies to individuals. It’s all very well trying to believe in yourself, but if you don’t believe in your teeth, you’re going to battle. Appearances are so superficial, I agree, but they inform our self-image.

This is what I told myself, as the finance lady held out the speedpoint in that surgery in Rosebank. It’s all about helping my child build a strong self-image, so she can have the confidence to pursue her dreams.

I suspect I’m going to have to remind myself of that a few times over the coming years, if my friends’ experience is anything to go by.

Their boy took out his dental plate at a braaivleis, then absent-mindedly threw the priceless artefact away with the braai bones. Later that evening, they spent half an hour going through the rubbish bins at their complex, trying to find the blasted retainer, so they wouldn’t have to dip into their access bond to buy a replacement one.

It’s expensive, this self-assurance that good dentistry supposedly brings. Hopefully it will all be worthwhile. My child, bristling with dental super-confidence, will become a data-science prodigy, bringing in colossal sums of money every month.

She will by that stage hopefully be able to afford a new set of teeth for her dad, who grew up smoking Stuyvie Red in the sand dunes in Jeffreys Bay. Back when teeth quality was luck of the draw, dentistry required no anaesthetic, and self-confidence came from how rich your parents were.

In some ways, not much has changed.