COLUMN: Does it still take a village to raise a child?

Quick question:

How do you feel when another parent disciplines your child?

On numerous occasions, I’ve had to bite my tongue due to the fear of being side-eyed by the child’s parent. And I did not want to shout. I just wanted to make a point that that is not how you behave or interact with other people. But, experience has taught me that you do not dare speak like that to someone else’s child.

Back in the day, this was not a thing. Nomiselo Khoza is a mother of four adult children and grandmother to many. In an interview regarding intergenerational parenting, she spoke about how she would respect every woman like she is her mother. Even strangers she had never met before.

That generation knew too well that if they acted sideways in public, there is another parent that will call them to order.

Now, we have a generation of moms and dads that rush to the school because they don’t like how the teacher reprimanded their child.

This observation is linked to the African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child”. This goes far beyond discipline alone. This requires an entire community of people to come together and interact with children for them to be the best versions of themselves.

Simply put, every child is your child.

In 2020, is this even a thing?

How many times have you seen a child misbehaving in your neighborhood and you just passed them because, in essence, they are not your responsibility?

The proverb is up for numerous interpretations.

At the core, it means that one cannot raise a child in isolation.

So, to what extent are parents open to getting assistance from other people without it feeling like interference or judgment?

I wonder if our parents got as upset when their mother’s guided them with raising children. I am part of a generation that is setting boundaries with in-laws and declining unsolicited advice.

Also read: It is time to set boundaries with your mom in-law. 

This could be easily interpreted as my unwillingness for the village to raise my child.

Unfortunately, experience has also taught us that trust is sacred. The amount of Facebook statuses we share every day of missing children is one. If not that, we hear of children getting sexually harassed by family members or close family friends.

So, where exactly do parents find this village?

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