Intimacy and sex after childbirth become very complicated for many couples. They are either too busy taking care of the baby or too tired to engage in sexual interaction. Some babies even co-sleep. which also complicates things for couples even further. Couples then opt to have sex in front of their children.
Is this a wise decision?
According to The Health Site, “it is important that you express your love and gratitude for one another in front of your kids. Their first lessons on compassion and kindness come from how both parents behave with each other”. Parents do not teach their children how to interact with other people by talking to them but through observation. This is how children learn.
Therefore, intimacy without sex is a good thing for children to be exposed to. So continue holding hands, smiling at each other when communicating and hugging each other. This exposes your child to a cozy and friendly environment and normalizes this kind of behaviour.
Dr. Michelle Barbara, and Educational expert, advises that children under 6 months will not be mentally or emotionally affected by seeing their parents having sex. After that age, they start processing things and interpreting them for themselves.
Children do not understand the concept of sex and romance.
So when your child sees daddy on top of mommy, and mommy making noise, he may interpret this as violence. This can then scare your baby.
According to Psych Central, “consistent exposure to adult interactions, (not referring to accidentally walking in on adults engaged in sex), even if the child is not being touched, can contribute to psychological damage”.
What should you do if your child walks in on you?
It is easy to be taken by the heat of the moment, but 10 minutes of pleasure do not amount to harming your child’s mental development.
This is particularly applicable to parents with children that are toddlers and above.
So what can we do?
Learn to get creative. The bedroom is not the only place to get sexually intimate with your partner. Go to a different room or even the bathroom. It can only bring excitement into the relationship.
You should also have a robe nearby in case your child walks in on you. Seeing the two of you having sex will be as confusing as seeing you naked right after walking in.
The bottom line is this: No parent wants to engage in anything that will leave their children confused. They are highly curious beings.
The last thing you want is being politely asked by the teacher to make less noise when having sex because your child told the teacher what he hears at night and wanted to figure out what that is.