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An unruly child becomes an unruly adult
Snap back for who?
Your journey. Your rules. Your body.
Aish O’Reily-Instagram
31 months ago, I went to church for the first time after popping a human out of my body. I was hormonal and struggling with breastfeeding. I also was tired of fighting all the strength it took to exit the house with a newborn for the first time.
On arrival, after a few greetings, I locked eyes with a fellow sister who said “ooh, that tummy is big. You better tie it hey”.
After that, even my tiredness was tired.
Right then I realized that the expectation of snapping back after birth is perpetuated by women.
Also Read: Women get real about pregnancy, birth and postpartum – Part 1
A mother of two made me feel terrible because I still looked a couple of months pregnant. I was over the discomfort (and pain) of tying my tummy. So I built up the confidence to face the world as I was that first Sunday. I was not at all expecting that anyone would actually have the audacity to say something to my face.
They did.
We are not all built the same, meaning our postpartum journeys will also be different. A celebrity mom’s post-pregnancy pictures should not dictate how soon I want to look like my old self. Not sure how completely possible that is.
Plus, you have no idea if those are pre or post-pregnancy pictures anyway. On social media, we see what people want us to see. And here you are feeling pathetic because she shared her first picture a month after giving birth and it looks like she never gave birth.
“Why does God hate me this much?” we ask ourselves as time passes and the pouch remains in its place.
My blogging sister Aisha O’Reilly superbly shared about the unrealities of ‘deflating’ after childbirth. An unreality shoved down the throats of so many women. Postpartum journeys are overwhelmed by envy and inefficiency at the sight of content that reflects it.
Also Read: South Africa Mommy Blogger Aisha O’Reily gets real about postpartum bodies
You don’t owe anyone a flat or ‘non-pregnant looking’ tummy. A tummy that played a pivotal role in the creation of human life.
Your journey. Your rules. Your body.
Karabo Mokoena
Karabo Mokoena is a wife, a girl mom, a writer and content creator. She is the Resident Contributor for Parenty and a Mommy Blogger, creating relatable parenting content for her blog Black Mom Chronicles. You can engage with her on her Instagram and Facebook pages. She is a Political Science graduate, who has worked in Human Resources for most of her professional career. She loves engaging with people, thus her choice to specialise in recruitment. She loves telling stories and sharing her life’s journey to brighten someone else’s day.
