It is possible to balance your dreams and having a baby

Balancing your dreams in one hand and a screaming baby in the other

My 6-month-old bundle of joy lets out the faintest cry upon waking from the land of Nod and Nodd, so I stop doing my work and rush over to comfort her. Playing with her for half the day means I have to stay up with the ghosts past 12 just to finish my workload before I call it a night. But I am okay with this!

Many people still hold onto the belief that a baby is solely mum’s responsibility and it is this archaic mentality that has caused so many mums to quit their dreams. I look at my Whatsapp; a mum uploads a status about the stress of child-rearing. She is one of the many mums who have sacrificed their careers, studies, and dreams to become just mums. I am in not anyway saying that is a bad thing, I applaud mums who give their babies every valuable second of their lives and I acknowledge being a mum is a full-time job. I, however, come from the school of thought that a new baby brings along new dreams.

Perhaps, you have to sacrifice your full-time job because you invited a new baby into your life but it doesn’t mean you should put your dreams on hold entirely- become a part-time worker, an entrepreneur, or start studying. It is possible to balance your dreams and a baby and anyone who tells you otherwise does not personally know any one of the millions of mums who reach success without neglecting their children. 

This is the type of mum I have chosen to become. I am a hands-on mum, teacher, tutor, coding instructor, volunteer counsellor, and freelance writer. So if staying faithful to my dreams means writing this article with my right hand whilst my baby girl is drinking bottle in my left hand then so be it.

Am I telling you that to be a mum and a dreamer, you need to multitask? Absolutely not! I am telling you that there is enough time in the day for you to milk time dry. Covid-19 has taught us that time is not a factor. Don’t beat your husband up either because he has not mentioned quitting his job to babysit. Just breathe, you got this!

Start dreaming again but remember that with a baby you can never plan. An unexpected vomit, that messy diaper or crying for no apparent reason is expected so embrace it. If you cannot make your dreams happen today, it will happen tomorrow.

Some days are better than others and you will get more done than you thought you would. Other days are bad- accept this.

Rope in your husband to help with the baby when the going gets tough. Trust me he will love knowing you need his help.

Cry in the shower when balancing work and a baby feels tough. Just know that your tears are shared by most women in the world.

When it is baby bonding time, let nothing else steal your focus as you will never get this time again.

Lastly do not feel guilty for following your dreams. Having a baby is a dream but one dream should not stop other dreams. Remember as your children grow up they too will realize the beauty of having a mum who reached for her dreams. Live your dreams now so you don’t have to live them through your children years later.

Twinkle twinkle little star, a mum who is a dreamer is the best mum by far.

Laila Abramjee is a teacher, freelance writer, coding instructor, and apparent dreamer. She is a newbie mum to her six-month-old baby girl. She was nominated as one of the Happy Events mummy heroes even before having a child. Laila is enthusiastic about bettering the lives of the children she teaches and wishes to one-day uplift women as well. She also believes that husbands are so valuable (if you pick correctly) and believes her husband is her biggest support. She is currently pursuing psychotherapy studies and wishes to personally reach for the starts


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