Let us be honest, children are very demanding, but there is something special about the demands of a 2-year-old that knows how to say mom.
This means, whenever they feel like they would like some attention, they will yell “mom” until they are out of breath. And most times, they don’t even want anything. Like this:
Every parent could not wait for their kids to call them mom, but now that they are doing it excessively, it is becoming very overwhelming and demanding.
As much as children have parents that need to love and look after them, their parents have lives they have to live. So, it is impossible to give in to a child’s every demand. This is why it is so easy for parents to lose it when their kids yell out for them repetitively. Out of inevitable frustration.
And therein lies the problem.
According to her recent parenting podcast, Unruffled, Educator and parenting author Janet Laundry, children know which buttons to press to cause distress. And this is solely based on the frustration showed by the parent. The more agitated you seem during his yelling, the more entertaining the yelling becomes for him.
Laundry says “it’s his job to demand”. and kids will not suddenly stop yelling out for you to do things. According to Laundry kids will say “all these things that they know are going to get to us, they want to push up against us”. It is how you manage the yelling out that matters.
For example, if you are busy working and your child yells out to you to play after you just played with him, they can either yell out to you every second, or you can start conversing with them as they call out for you. Instead of screaming “I am busy right now and cannot play” Laundry suggests that you say “You really want me to play with you now and that’s hard, because I have to do this. I can play with you after dinner for a little while, I’m going to sit with you.”
The latter is very difficult, because of the psychological effects of the yelling in the first place. According to Lauren, moms start feeling guilty that, just maybe, they are not doing enough for their children and that is why they are demanding so much.
It is possible to teach children to be more independent. It takes a lot of self-control and denial, but it is possible. It is easier to put on your lap while you work because they want your attention. But do they need it?
Once you manage to discern between their needs and wants, they will also learn to come to you to demand things that they can momentarily live without.