SALOCKDOWN: How to survive with being at home with your partner all day
Because there is such a thing as too much time together.
Happy African American having fun together indoors, funny married couple dancing with adorable little preschooler daughter and cute toddler son at home, listening to music, family weekend with kids
It ‘s likely that for the first time in your relationship you are experiencing what it’s like being with each every waking moment of the day thanks to lockdown. No breaks, clashing in the kitchen for a drink of water or worse, one of you working from home and the other not can take its toll. These tips can help:
Remember that it’s temporary
While it may feel like we have been in this traumatic pandemic emergency situation forever, it hasn’t been that long and it’s important that we remember that it will pass eventually. Couples therapist Lina Lifschitz Rozen says, “Nobody likes to be on forced leave from work, but let’s be honest: How much time do we get to spend time together without juggling another 1,001 things? There are families for whom the quarantine will be a bonding experience, while for others it will increase tension and make the atmosphere to be more explosive. It’s even more upsetting when you recall that home quarantine is part of a situation at present that for some of us can be threatening – both financially and in terms of health.”
READ: Why do relationships change after having a baby?
Create safe zones to have alone time
In your normal life pre – corona you may have been able to have a couple’s tiff and leave the house and head to the mall to clear your head. Now with the lockdown you don’t have that luxury so you’ll have to manufacture some “you space”. “It’s also important to reserve time to be alone: for meditation, an afternoon nap, occasional conversations with those remaining in the outside world, to practice playing an instrument and to work”, says Diana Eidelman who is also a couples therapist.
READ: Where to get help if you’re a mom in an abusive relationship during lockdown
Discover new things about each other
Instead of seeing it as time when you are stuck at home with no one to see but each other, try to frame the situation as an opportunity to discover new and exciting things about each other. You have all this time together so discover more about each other – through playing board games etc. Eidelman says, “For couples with older children who don’t have to be kept occupied, I recommend conducting an evening of “36 Questions” to get to know one another better. This involves a questionnaire in which two people (in the original exercise, they are strangers) are asked 36 questions and their answers help increase intimacy”.
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