What can you do for a friend that just had a baby?

If your friend just became a mom either for the first time or for the third, chances are she needs you now more than ever.

She is probably overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, still wearing yesterday’s clothes and has no idea when her last meal was. And just because she is not asking for it, does not mean she does not need help.

The biggest thing new moms struggle with is asking for help. Asking for help, in general, is a challenge for a lot of people. We don’t like feeling like we are bothering people.

So how do you then offer help to a new mom, even when they don’t ask for it?

Show up

If you want to wait for an invitation to pitch up at your friend’s home, you’ll just end up waiting forever. Sometimes, you just start helping out around the house. Whether the house needs some tidying up, or she needs help fixing dinner, or just a break to take a bath, then do that.

“The last thing she wanted to do was housework”, one new mom said. So offering your assistance to get the housework completed is helpful.

Bring her food

New moms hardly have time to eat, let alone enjoy their favourite treats. So, when you can, just pass by the house and drop off her favourite treat. It does not have to be a long visit. You can just quickly check-in and drop it off. This will go a long way and make her feel very appreciated.

Affirm her

New moms may sometimes feel like they are failing. When a baby cries and you’re not sure why, it’s easy to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. All moms are trying to do is not mess things up. An affirmation that they are doing well will help them gain the confidence that they need.

Offer to watch the baby

This does not have to be babysitting in the absence of the mother. You can simply watch the baby while the mom takes a long hot bath, tend to her hair or nails, or simply sit with her and watch a nice movie. There are a lot of things new moms can’t do that because all their attention goes to the baby. You can help them engage in these activities by keeping an eye on their cub.

Ask them how they are

“I don’t think I could have done it without the support of my friend,” Excinia Kolisang, a mother of one boy expressed.

Sometimes, new moms just need someone that can listen to them. There is so much happening in their lives after childbirth. They are recovering physically, and are still adjusting hormonally. This means that they will need someone that can genuinely listen to them and ask how they are doing. People can easily forget new moms and only ask about the baby. Never overlook the parents.

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