5 ways to spice up your marriage

Whether it’s the familiarity of years together, the intrusion of work commitments, or the pressure of raising a family, there are countless factors that work against the spice we long for. Here are 5 simple things you can do today to spice things up a bit.

1 Plan something exciting and embrace spontaneity.

Try going away for a night or going on a second honeymoon; shipping the kids to granny for the night and staying home with some wine and a good movie; making a reservation at that restaurant you’ve been talking about for months, or just surprising each other with a picnic lunch (whatever works for you). The point is that every relationship needs some spontaneity – and that requires a bit of planning. Plan it well and make sure that there is an element of surprise in it for your partner (that’s where the spontaneity comes in.

2 Burn up the phone.

Let’s face it… we spend a truckload of time on our phones each day. So why not use it to spice things up a bit with our partners? Anything from regular messages about how much you love him/her, to how you want them to hurry home, or maybe even a few hints about what they might be in for that evening.

3 Home can be romantic too.

With very little effort our homes can become a wonderful setting for romance; we don’t always need fancy spas or lavish restaurants. Light some candles, set the table, turn off the TV and put on some music, dance outside on the lawn or on the balcony, pour a bath. Our homes should be spaces where we are comfortable and safe, but that doesn’t mean they should be boring and predictable.

4 Brag a little.

Remember how you used to drive your friends nuts with stories about your partner when you first met? Do it again! But in a much more mature manner. Make a point of highlighting your partner’s strengths and victories and lovable character traits, and do it when they can hear or see you doing it. This will reinforce a greater confidence in your partner, remind you of why you choose to love them, and both of you will reap the rewards.

5 Say “yes”… try something new in the bedroom.

There is tremendous power in learning to say “yes” more easily (but, of course, this requires deep trust and utmost respect to be hallmarks of your relationship). Familiarity so easily leads to monotony, and our need for daily routines at home and work and school can quickly translate into routine for the bedroom as well. Be brave! Say “yes” and see what happens…

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