The ministers we aren’t going to miss

Before we get too carried away about how awful this latest Cabinet reshuffle has been, let’s pause a moment and consider the silver linings – all three of them.

Although there’s every chance their replacements are likely to be as incompetent and counter to the national interest as the outgoing incumbents were, it’s always pleasant when a bad minister gets shown the door. It’s just sad that it happens so infrequently, and that the overall trend has been to replace the diamonds with the gravel.

Nevertheless, let’s bid a hearty farewell – and ne’er may you darken the door of an official building again – to Tina Joemat-Pettersson, who cluelessly contributed to destroying our bountiful living resources while she was the fisheries and forestries minister and then laid the groundwork for Putin’s nuclear power station while she was energy minister. Let us also not forget that she was TWICE found guilty by the Public Protector for misusing public funds.

Then there’s Ngoako Ramathlodi, who became the minister of mineral resources but obviously wasn’t able to deliver well enough on a Gupta mandate, so they moved him to the ironically named department of public service and administration, two things he clearly had never heard of and was even less capable of doing.

Let’s not forget Dipuo Peters – she who always looks so pained whenever she recounts the road carnage over any given long weekend or festive season. This proselytising disciple of the Church of E-Tolls (and non-payer of Telkom bills) is another minister we are unlikely to miss.

So yes, these ministerial imposters are gone, but at what cost? A heavy one. We’ve also lost Pravin Gordhan and Derek Hanekom.

And yet, here we are still … stuck with the mud on our shoes known as Bathabile Dlamini; Faith Muthambi (who just got moved sideways); the “weekend special” Des van Rooyen; Susan Shabangu, a nonentity in an irrelevant ministry; the utterly clueless International Relations Minister Maite Nkoana-Mashabane; Gupta acolyte Mosebenzi Zwane; the pointless Minister of Small Business Lindiwe Zulu; the ever-scary buddy of rhino poachers David Mahlobo; and she of the Ben 10s and “billions” spent on election campaigns, Water and Sanitation Minister Nomvula Mokonyane.

All the same, it might be fun to now see all the selfies of Fikile Mbalula waving around police-issue rifles and boasting about how he’s catching the bad guys as the minister of poe-leeese.

Fun times indeed.

Of course, it’s just a matter of time before these horrible axed ministers show up somewhere else in our zero-accountability and zero-consequence government. But for now, it’s nice to revel in their temporary misfortune.