Women urged not to let fear hold them back in life

Studies show that women fear falling victim to crime more than men, which takes a toll on their mental health.

During Mental Health Month, women are encouraged to move from a state of fear to fearlessness.

Seugnette van Wyngaard, head of 1st for Women Insurance, said being fearless is both a decision and an action.

“It doesn’t mean living a life without fear, but one in which fear doesn’t hold us back – being unhindered by failure or judgement and walking with freedom, strength and hope.”

With women disproportionately affected by crime in SA, it’s easier said than done. Nwabisa Dlova, a social worker at Lawyers Against Abuse, said: “As a woman, I’m constantly checking around me, thinking about what to wear and what not to, what time I need to leave somewhere to get home safely and responding ‘politely’ to men to avoid possible confrontation.

“We live with a heightened sense of anxiety, constantly on alert for what may come if we drop our guard.

This extends to the other women in my life whom I tell where I am, who I’m with and what time I’ll be home. The toll on women’s collective mental health is immeasurable.”

According to author and life coach Lori Milner you probably wouldn’t watch a bad movie twice. “Yet when it comes to something we dread or something painful that happened, we tend to replay it repeatedly.

Some of us have been playing the movie for years, preventing us from making progress.

“Although the fear is still real for you, it’s important to know you are in charge of it and can choose a better way to approach situations, so you are always in control of how you respond.”

Some ways to feel the fear but use it as fuel:

Rumi said: “Live life as if everything is rigged in your favour”.

• Adopt the attitude of expecting the best, dissolving fear.
• Focusing on things you can’t control amplifies fear. Rather focus on what you can, including your thoughts, beliefs, attitude and actions.
• Is the story you tell yourself fuelling the fear? Then it’s time to write a better one. A bad experience is one chapter, not your entire book.
• Be your own cheerleader. Take ownership of your self-talk. Stop anticipating bad luck, believing that you need to sacrifice your personal life to be successful, or that you can’t because you’re a woman.
• Get rid of beliefs that trigger fear and replace them with ones that give you power.
• Choose your words. Choose the word “excited” instead of “scared” to give your brain context and relax into the situation. Even if you are nervous, choose a better story.

ALSO READ: Women live in constant fear in South Africa