Teen suicide sprouts from depression or mood disorder, says expert

The thought of one’s child taking his or her own life is so horrifying to any parent that many push it to the back of our minds rather than confronting the possibility.

However, during the tricky teen years it is crucial to talk openly about suicide and shine the light on a potentially life-saving conversation.

Pressures

Mark de la Rey, a clinical psychologist at Netcare Akeso Kenilworth, says that in a world of extreme academic pressure, online bullying and social challenges, teenagers will be far better equipped at navigating this difficult subject if they have the opportunity to talk it through at home.

“Parents may be apprehensive about how best to approach this topic. This needs to be done at an age-appropriate level but it is also important to remember that children have access to and are exposed to information and misinformation about subjects like suicide.

Treating it as taboo would be dangerous,” he says. “What you can do as a parent is to help unpack why some people take their own lives and how such a tragedy is not the only option.

TED talk

A good ice-breaker might be to suggest watching a TED talk about suicide together and then allowing everyone to discuss their views about it afterwards.”

Suicidal ideation sprouts from some level of depression or a mood disorder and suicide – whether attempted or successful – indicates a genuine sense of hopelessness, De la Rey points out.

“There are not always clear signs, especially in teens who are high-functioning and good at sports, performing well academically and popular in their friend group.

This makes it easier for them to mask their true mental state, which they may do to live up to that which they believe is expected of them,” he says.

There are certain instances in which teenagers can become so caught up that they are not able to take a step back and regain perspective without some help, De la Rey notes.

“This includes scenarios which are near impossible to avoid, such as exam pressures and relationship issues. “Others may be less apparent such as online bullying or blackmail over compromising photographs they may have shared.

NOW READ: Three pupils from same high school take their own lives weeks apart

Digital environment

The digital environment can be extremely threatening to your child’s mental health and is an area that needs a lot of discussion. “Any significant change in behaviour can be a warning sign.

If you have a usually very active and social child who becomes withdrawn, or a child who has always been a homebody but now seems to be looking for reasons to stay away, keep a watchful eye.

Sudden outbursts of anger and frustration and changes in daily habits can also point to emotional difficulty.”

Sometimes people having suicidal thoughts will do and say things that can indicate plans to end their life. This may come out in language, for example, saying “You won’t have to deal with me much longer” or perhaps “Maybe we’ll meet again one day” to a close friend.

Such statements are a cry for help that must be taken seriously. According to De la Rey, parents often have a sense that something is off and in these moments it is important to sit down together and have a chat.

ALSO READ: How to identify and handle teen suicide

Support

“Your child needs to know they can come to you with a problem, no matter how terrible it may appear to them. This means being measured in your responses, which is not always easy when dealing with teenagers,” says De la Ray.

“If you tell your child that they can always come to you with a problem and then immediately react with anger or disappointment when they do, this can push them away and create distrust.

They need to feel they can be honest and confide in you. “Ultimately you want your child to feel that they can talk to you when they are facing a seemingly insurmountable problem and for them to know that help is always available.

Open conversation is your opportunity to reinforce that message. “If you know or suspect that your child is having suicidal thoughts, seek professional help.

There is always another option and while they might not be able to see it now, there is a way through.”

READ MORE: Teen Suicide Prevention Week: Raising awareness to save lives

– news@citizen.co.za