Schalk Bezuidenhout: Tickling the funny bone

The big, brown, bouncy afro hairdo and the matching moustache are the first things you notice when the yellow Suzuki Jimny comes racing around the corner where the “Feeling good, feeling great” stand-up comedian lives in Craighall in Johannesburg.

This year, Schalk Bezuidenhout celebrates 10 years as a stand-up comedian and boasts various roles on the silver screen and stage.

“Sorry I am late, I had to drop Otis [the dog] off at school,” the quirkily dressed comedian says as he jumps out of his car. Bezuidenhout, who was born in Polokwane and grew up in Kempton Park, says Jim Carrey was his idol growing up because he, too, wanted to be an actor.

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After Bezuidenhout matriculated, he studied drama at the University of Cape Town before relocating back to Johannesburg.

“Ultimately, I was spending more time in Johannesburg career-wise and decided to move.”

In Johannesburg, Bezuidenhout met his fiancee Mica McKechnie who, unwillingly, features in his popular Facebook and Instagram videos.

“Mika and I make a great combo, she hates doing laundry and I hate doing dishes,” he said.

Bezuidenhout says he loves doing laundry because it is very therapeutic.

“I love it. It makes me feel like I have accomplished something for the day.

“You take this bundle of dirty, smelly laundry, you wash it, you dry it, you fold it up and you return it to the cupboard.

“Believe me, I will fold the kak out of a panty.”

Bezuidenhout says the highlight of his career was opening for Trevor Noah in front of an audience of about 2 000 people for a month at the Teatro at Montecasino.

“Even though my opening act was just 10 minutes long, it was great exposure. It was an opportunity not many comedians get,” says Bezuidenhout.

“It was also a moerse nice change of scenery to what I was used to at that stage”. At the time, Bezuidenhout was doing gigs in “dodgy bars and sh*t holes”.

“During a gig on Long Street, the hobos realised at some point they were not getting chased out once they were inside. They didn’t even laugh at my jokes,” Bezuidenhout says.

He says the gig paid well and had a nice sponsor in a nice location, but the problem was there was no cover charge. Bezuidenhout’s first paid gig was his craziest to date.

“Because I only had 15 minutes of comedy and not 40 minutes, I asked to do a shorter show for half the price and they agreed,” Bezuidenhout says.

Bezuidenhout invited his father to come along to the gig at Rock Paradise, a place he had never heard of despite growing up in Kempton Park.

“After asking around, I eventually figured out the gig was being held at a strip club,” Bezuidenhout says.

“My dad agreed to come, not because he wanted to protect me but because he had to seethings for himself.”

When Bezuidenhout and his father arrived at the strip club that Friday afternoon, they found a guy outside at the swimming pool busy making a braai.

“Only then did I realise he was preparing the so-called buffet they were advertising along with my show,” he says.

His father immediately helped himself to the braai buffet while Bezuidenhout went backstage to prepare for his show.

“After the strippers finished their performance, I was called up to do my thing,” Bezuidenhout says.

About one minute into his show, Bezuidenhout realised the men with the wedding ring tans were not listening to him, and nor were the lap dancers.

“Each one of those guys had a stripper on his lap and the strippers were hustling even harder than me,” he says.

Bezuidenhout says the other strippers eventually felt bad for him and pulled chairs to the front of the stage to support him.

“My dad was sitting at the back killing himself laughing at the situation while he munched away on his braai meat and potato salad,” chuckles Bezuidenhout.

marizkac@citizen.co.za