22 incredible quotes from the ‘historical’ announcement that only Hlaudi could say

Former SABC COO Hlaudi Motsoeneng held a press briefing on Thursday to make a “historical” announcement that he was starting a political party called African Content Movement with the slogan “the future is in your hands”.

Motsoeneng said he had decided to start the party because he saw that politicians were not helping citizens. His party would listen to the citizens and give them exactly what they wanted, he claimed.

Here are the quotes from this morning that no one other than Hlaudi Motsoeneng could come up with:

• We are a big political party.
• In South Africa, the only person who is tested on delivery is Hlaudi. Not looking the west, the north, the east. I did implement what I was supposed to implement [at the SABC] and I was not looking for favours.
• Today people say Hlaudi is dangerous because they have realised that this Hlaudi is going to take over.
• If I’m corrupt, I should be caught by the Hawks, now as I’m speaking.
• They talk about irregular appointments, irregular is not corruption.
• People don’t understand this English that they talk about. You see, sometimes people talk English but they don’t understand it themselves. They read book [sic] and play with terms, but they don’t understand those words. Maybe they don’t understand irregular. Maybe we need to forgive them, because I have forgiven them because they don’t understand.
• Education is very important. I want you to understand because some say I don’t love education. I do love education.
• When we send you to university, you must come back and show us the output of that education. It can’t only be about a certificate. If there is no output, you’re not educated.
• Ladies, you have Brazilian hair, why can’t you have South African hair? I know there are people who have long hair in South Africa. For those who have short hair like me, let us grow our hair so that we can cut it and turn it into a product and sell it and have South African hair. Even the Brazilians will love our hair.
• When we try to help government so that they can look good, they remove us.
• People have been saying to me ‘Please Hlaudi stand up, we want to vote for you.’ Now I’m available, I’m here, free of charge. Those who don’t have interest to vote, at least you have someone now, a wonderful person who’s going to change the lives of the people.
• They removed Msholozi [Jacob Zuma] because they said he would make them lose votes. Now they’re using him to get votes. But I’m ready for Msholozi and [Cyril] Ramaphosa.
• In my time at the SABC, there were smiles. People were happy, there was no mathata [problems] because we were paying people living wages.
• If you look at our logo, it has ‘that thing’. But the meaning of the hands is that the future is in your hands.
• If you vote for this logo, you’ll have a bright future.
• I’m not a politician, I’m a human being and a servant.
• Now they’re all over, they love everyone. These days they come and greet you. After elections it will be you saying, ‘Hi minister, my chief!’
• In me, I’ll run after you when I’m president and I will use a bicycle to go to the malls and Sandton.
• I’m a horse, while we are talking, I’m running now.
• I told political parties that asked me to join them: ‘If you want me, I will be the president, I can’t be the deputy president.’
• Ramaphosa must tell us why he is a billionaire. Who gave him money?
• We have brain.

Also read: WATCH: Hlaudi Motsoeneng announces his new party, the African Content Movement

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