Orchids and Onions: A large glass of reality

Hangovers, they say, are God’s way of telling you to lay off the booze. Anyone who has had one will know the “why did I do it?” feeling of remorse.

Alcohol has changed so many lives in so many ways, yet humankind still seems to love the bottle. Trying to get people to approach alcohol in a more sensible way – to save our country the billions it costs annually in everything from car accidents and domestic violence to the effects of foetal alcohol syndrome – is clearly not a message which is getting through.

The new campaign along these lines from nonprofit organisation Aware.org, (Association for Alcohol Responsibility and Education) takes a different angle. Different in the sense that it doesn’t wag fingers or show images (however censored) of bodies and the sort of carnage boozing can cause.

It’s all about “the road not taken” and in this case, the road not taken is the easy one to addiction.

So we see the same man in two different scenarios, but simultaneously, thanks to the use of clever image effects. A man able to look at himself from outside.

And what he sees is not good: from being the life and soul of the party, which the booze triggers, to fighting, insulting and being thrown out of the club by the bouncers. It’s a clear look at the sleazy side of what “just a little drink” can turn into.

We then see him heading home – in a taxi, not driving himself in his inebriated state.

He arrives at his house to a warm and stable family home – loving wife and, asleep in her bedroom, their beautiful daughter. There is no contest as to which is the more appealing road taken.

The punchline – Drink like there is a tomorrow – is apt and memorable.

Orchids to Aware.org, ad agency Riverbed and director Gordon Lindsay of Braille Films for your message of hope out of despair.

Best way to hoodwink a journalist? Send them a press release based on a “survey”.

That sounds like science and few journalists will question you, as a clever PR company. Even better, use percentages because you know they won’t have a clue.

That’s exactly what an outfit called the deVere Group did this week and they reeled in the suckers. The company bills itself as “an international financial services organisation” – which should have been the first red flag, because that is a commonly used, vague, meaningless generalisation which sounds professional.

The company’s release said it had done a “survey” among “high-net-worth individuals” (rich people to you and me) about their “exposure to cryptocurrencies”. Hardly unbiased research, given deVere is in that business.

At least 600 of these people, spread across South Africa, the US, United Kingdom, Australia, UAE, Qatar, Switzerland, Hong Kong, Spain, France and Germany (all solid blue-chip nations, at least in common perception).

According to the survey findings, these people were besotted with cryptocurrencies to the extent that they believe these are “the future of money”. (Another lovely, meaningless cliche: what money? Where? How?)

But the best part was the bit which eluded journalists: “more than a third” (34%, 35%, 99%?) said they “either have exposure to cryptocurrencies or intend investing by the end of 2018”.

Cue gasps of amazement among journalists and the numerically illiterate who read it and rushed off to have a look at Bitcoin.

Here’s the proper way of looking at this rubbish. By their own figures, at least two-thirds (or just under, using a similar logic), do not own cryptocurrencies, nor have any intention of investing in them by the end of this year.

That means, in reality, high-net-worth individuals actually don’t believe in cryptocurrencies.

While the release may have achieved its aim, ultimately this sort of rubbish damages both the integrity of the PR industry and makes it guilty of distributing fake news.

That sort of thing will rebound both on a PR company and on a client.

So, today’s fake news Orchid goes to deVere.

Brendan Seery

For more news your way, follow The Citizen on Facebook and Twitter.