For as little as R600, you could possibly have the penis you have always wished for . . . or, a likely scenario is that you could sit with a terrible rash that takes you to the emergency room with a serious dent in your savings to add insult to injury.
Illegal penis enlargement posters are a rash on the North Coast, covering every available surface from Tongaat to KwaDukuza, reappearing as quickly as they can be taken down, reports North Coast Courier.
They appear on road signs, traffic lights and even last week on a local monument, the Shaka’s Head statue.
The North Coast Courier opted to get in contact with some of these purveyors of a much-desired product, to answer an age-old question on almost all of their clients’ lips: “How do I increase the size of my penis?”
According to the scientific journal, Personality and Individual Differences, South African men ranked sixth in the world in terms of penis size, coming in at an average of 15.2 centimetres. Now before you reach for a ruler, your size is probably enough to get you by. Unfortunately, not all men are as fortunate nor are satisfied with what they’ve got.
First, we spoke to a Mr John, and when contacted he not only asked if we were “serious” about gaining some extra centimetres but whether we could give him a lift to his shop in Tongaat!
Needless to say, the phone conversation continued for some time as he explained exactly how much the cost per “treatment” would be and told us vaguely about the product on offer.
He did not ask about any skin allergies or whether we may have had bad reactions with “ointments” before. However, for as little as R600, he guaranteed that his clients would be happy with the product, which is required to be used daily for a period of three months.
A single tube of ointment, according to Mr John, would last two weeks. By the time three months are up, the client will have coughed up at least R3,600.
The second seller contacted identified himself as Professor Mohammed, and promised that he could help solve “all of your problems”. The cost, however, doubled. Now at R1,200 per product, you at least have the option between a drink and cream.
“This will give you size,” said Professor Mohammed.
“I have got a cream for you. I used herbal products to make it, it is very powerful. But if it’s not enough, I have a drink which will open your veins,” he offered.
Professor Mohammed would not disclose the location of his shop, but said that he operated in KwaDukuza along King Shaka Street. We were advised to contact him when we were in the vicinity, and he would arrange a place where we could meet before heading to his shop. According to Professor Mohammed, his product is “strong” and should be used in moderation.
Speaking to the North Coast Courier, Stanger-based general practitioner, Dr Decent Mdletshe urged men not to use so-called “penis enlargement” creams or tonics, especially if they were not labelled and did not list the ingredients.
Dr Mdletshe said he regularly had clients who were suffering after using or ingesting one of these “endowment-enhancing creams”, and that most commonly, the patients exhibited skin rashes.
“Do not go to these ‘doctors’ and do not use products which have not be tested, certified or put through trials and approved by the Food and Drug Administration,” said Dr Mdletshe.
Asked whether it was possible that creams or drinks could enlarge the penis, he simply said that it was impossible to know without trials being done on these products.
Umhlali SAPS communications officer Captain Vinny Pillay also urged the public to exercise caution and remain vigilant due to the strong possibility of the sellers of “penis enlargement” miracle drugs being con artists.