Five pics of places where Grace Mugabe did not show up today

1. Hong Kong

The Zimbabwean First Lady was not in Hong Kong today, even though the shopping in this city is great.

2. War-torn Aleppo

Grace Mugabe was not among the ruins of Aleppo in Syria, despite the fact that this is probably the last place Fikile Mbaweezy Mr Razzmatazz Mbalula was going to look for her.

3. The North Pole

We’re not sure if Benoni’s less favourite famous export takes the issue of bringing attention to climate change as seriously as Lewis Pugh does. We checked. She doesn’t. There was no Amazing Grace here either.

4. The moon

We whipped out our telescope and did a quick scan of the lunar landscape. There was no angry woman in a headscarf swinging an extension cord in low gravity here either.

5. The Randburg Magistrate’s Court

Picture: Natasha Biccard

She wasn’t here today either, even though our police minister assured us she would be. We sent a whole lot of journalists to check, so we’re pretty sure. We know Mbaks likes to sneak important people in through side doors, but we checked those too, just in case. Sorry, no Grace!

I cannot help feeling that the announcement that Grace Mugabe had handed herself in, was just a ruse to allow her to get away.

— Phumzile Van Damme (@zilevandamme) August 15, 2017