Festive season: Here’s when Covid and load shedding will be ‘on duty’

South Africa’s been through a lot, collectively. Thanks to Eskom, Rand Water, the rising fuel price, and now a new Covid-19 variant, we face a rough festive season.

As South Africans prepare for the holiday season, we now have to worry about a spike in alcohol-related accidents and incidents as well.

It’s a lot, you know?

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Disclaimer: This article is satirical in nature and should not be taken seriously.

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SA’s festive season ‘schedule’

Well, you’ll be happy to learn that load shedding, Covid-19 variants, and everything else disrupting our lives all operate according to a strict leave schedule.

Welcome to the festive season, Covi(d)

TikTok content creator Tums Mmope was kind enough to share the schedule with us.

During the most recent SA staff meeting, Covi was welcomed back to work, but had to complain about their leave day being cut short.

As you may know, Covi recently released a new album called B.1.1.529.

@tumsthenarrator

#justtums staff meeting

♬ original sound – Tums The Narrator

Hello Eskom, our old friend

Darkness, known to many by the nickname Load Shedding, was eagre to work the festive season shift, and will be on duty from 1 to 15 December.

Covi will take over from Darkness on 16 December. We were slightly disturbed by Darkness’ eagernes to work over the festive season, if we have to be brutally honest.

And as we know, Darkness’ schedule is bound to change without notice, so the uncertainty should keep things interesting. Never a dull moment around here.

ALSO READ: Power cuts are here to stay, Ramaphosa tells Parliament

Safe roads and safe sex, please

Max will be away from the office until 4 January, and won’t be responding to work emails. Condoms “will be nowhere to be seen”, Max added without a care in the world.

Bev(erage), known to those in the inner circle as Booze, Zamalek or Vino, refuses to take leave. During this time, Bev said Max won’t be missed either.

Darkness also wanted to go on the leave the same time as (Rand) Water, which might cause additional disruptions to consumers’ lives.

There you have it, folks; plan your lives accordingly.

Happy (and safe) festive season!

P.S: Ignore Bev – Don’t drink and drive.