#FakeNewsFriedman: Justice Zondo to testify at the commission of inquiry into commissions of inquiry

Deputy Chief Justice Raymond Zondo will be the first witness to testify at a commission of inquiry established to probe the dramatic increase in commissions of inquiry South Africa has been experiencing.

A spokesperson from advocacy group Let Our Dear Judges Enjoy Retirement (Lodjer), who asked to remain anonymous, said the organisation had mixed feelings about the new commission.

“On the one hand, we are hoping this inquiry will result in a decrease in commissions of inquiry, which we hope will result in more retired judges being allowed to actually enjoy their twilight years. On the other hand, the inquiry is chaired by retired Justice Dikgang Moseneke, who was really hoping to spend more time gardening.”

Lodjer said it was formed following the unfair demands made on retired judges Lex Mpati, who had to cancel a fishing expedition after being appointed chair of the PIC inquiry, and Robert Nugent, who had revealed his Bonsai collection fell into neglect following his work at the helm of the commission of inquiry into Sars.

However, a spokesperson for Keep Our Dear Judges Employed in Retirement (Kodjer) a rival organisation formed by the wives of retired judges, said the organisation would “quite like to see more retired judges performing the important task of chairing commissions of inquiry, rather than lying around all day drinking beer and watching television on the couch”.

The commission of inquiry into commissions of inquiry has been slammed by the DA, which has objected to its “excessive silliness” and “overly long name”.

The party has demanded answers as to why yet another commission of inquiry has been approved by the presidency.

Those answers will emerge when the upcoming commission of inquiry into commissions of inquiry into commissions of inquiry convenes later this year.

The EFF, enraged at just how ridiculous all of this is, has called for a commission of inquiry into commissions of inquiry into commissions of inquiry into commissions of inquiry.

NOTE: This is satire, like an April Fool’s Joke, only once a week instead of once a year and, hopefully, funnier. 

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