Eskom announces Stage 2 load shedding

President Jacob Zuma’s Cabinet reshuffle on Thursday seems to have done more harm than we realise, as Eskom has announced that it will now be implementing Stage 2 load shedding from 2pm on Saturday.

The announcement comes after former Eskom CEO Brian Molefe was not given the finance minister position as promised.

Speaking to The Citizen, in tears, Molefe said the president had broken his heart by failing to fulfil his promise.

“He said I was too emotional to occupy such an important portfolio. I think crying at the press conference while addressing the nation on those Gupta allegations cost me the most important opportunity of my life,” he said.

To show the president who’s boss, Molefe said he went to his former colleagues and told them to shut down the grid and promised to buy them Zamaleks at the Saxonwold Shebeen in return.

The load shedding will, however, not affect all Gauteng residents, as Molefe said he had made sure to target only specific areas.

The area to be hit hardest by the load shedding appears to be the suburb in which newly appointed Finance Minister Malusi Gigaba lives.

“I have made sure he experiences load shedding all day, every day. We will see how he’s going to upload all those pictures on Instagram after his phone battery dies.

“I would just like to warn all people in Gauteng against answering any phone call from Gigaba as he will be asking them to use their electricity to charge his phones and laptops,” said Molefe.

Load shedding will also affect those who will watch the Gupta channel ANN7, as Molefe said he felt personally attacked after it announced the ministers who were sacked, while saying nothing about him.

He said he believed that whatever the channel declared, the president would have just done it.

“He fired 15 ministers, because that is what the channel announced. Why did they not announce that I was the new finance minister?” he asked.

April Fool’s!