‘Mama, bye… see you in heaven’: Bullied gay pupil’s last message

Nompumelelo Mbatha’s heart still breaks and the tears still flow when she recalls that her son committed suicide because his teacher bullied him for being gay.

Sibusiso Mbatha, 12, attended Khehlekile Primary School in Thokoza where a teacher, Simon Dhlamini, allegedly told him to leave his “gayism” in the township.

Although Dhlamini was disciplined and suspended for two months for his conduct, he was reappointed at the school just weeks before the first anniversary of Sibusiso’s death.

Teacher reappointed week before Sibusiso’s suicide

Mbatha said: “My child’s life has ended forever, yet Dhlamini gets a short suspension and goes back to teaching in the same school where he was homophobic. Dhlamini is a murderer.

“If he had not said those words to my child, he would have never taken his life.”

On 23 October last year, Sibusiso was involved in an altercation with another pupil and was sent to Dhlamini, who publicly reprimanded the two boys and allegedly insulted Sibusiso.

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Mbatha said Sibusiso came home looking devastated.

“He told his cousin that he was traumatised by what Dhlamini had said.

“Then, he sat in his room and later said he wanted to play jumping rope outside… only for us to later be called out to find that he had hanged himself in the bathroom outside.”

Sibusiso came home looking devastated

As she relived that trauma this week, she said it was as painful as if she was hearing the news for the very first time.

Later that day, they found a WhatsApp message that Sibusiso wrote: “I want to kill myself because of the bullying I get from my teacher Sir Dhlamini. He always says things that hurt me.”

Mbatha said she cannot understand how a teacher could have difficulty accepting her son’s sexuality when his whole family had always accepted him.

“My child was openly gay from his toddler years when he was going to creche and from then he always had more female friends,” she said.

“He had a feminine character, always playing with my dresses and wearing my makeup.

“In this house, we all accepted him as he is.”

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‘We accepted him as he is’

She added that Sibusiso had attended Khehlekile from preschool but only in his sixth grade did his teacher bully him.

Mbatha said that, according to Sibusiso, his sexuality wasn’t the only target for Dhlamini.

“He used to tell me the teacher was abusive and would call him a know-it-all for raising his hand in class to answer questions, and would even tease him saying his head is the size of a bus.”

Mbatha said: “What I will miss the most about him is how happy he was. He was very affectionate and would tell me every day that he loves me. He also loved cooking and last year he baked a cake for my birthday,” she said.

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The Gauteng department of education commissioned BR Rangata Attorneys to investigate the incident. It was found that “allegations of emotional abuse and homophobic abuse against Sibusiso Mbatha by Mr Dhlamini are substantiated by the evidence”.

“That these utterances caused the death of the pupil has merit as the deceased was subjected to verbal and very public reprimands for his sexual choice and orientation.

Report into pupil’s suicide incident

“We recommend that Mr Dhlamini be charged by putting him on precautionary suspension and a charge sheet be served.”

The report said the principal, Mandla Ncanywa, had failed to protect Sibusiso and breached the Employment of Educators Act. The principal also lied in his interview when he said he was not present on the day of the incident as the CCTV footage showed he was there, the report said.

“He seemed less interested and to some extent condoned the behaviour of his deputy principal and protected him.”

It also recommended that the head of department, Jabulile Dhlamini, and the class teacher, Zandile Ngwenya, be disciplined because they did not follow the processes of reporting and did not give the matter attention.

They also recommended disciplinary action for “serious misconduct” against the pupil who had an altercation with Sibusiso.

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Teacher’s reinstatement disturbing

Education activist Hendrick Makaneta said the teacher’s reinstatement was disturbing.

The Thokoza lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual+ forum said they should have access to schools to give pupils support.

The forum’s Javas Ndlovu said: “The government could do more awareness campaigns and get us to assist pupils. But in the area there is homophobia because there have been lesbian killings.”

The Gauteng department of education’s Xolani Mkhwemnte said Dhlamini was charged and found guilty on two acts of misconduct. He was given a final written warning and suspended without pay for two months.

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