Columns 11.8.2018 07:00 am

Orchids and Onions – Volkswagen has you covered in splendid ad

But here’s a question to Absa as it collects its Onion: why are there no white people in your ad?

One of the endless debates in life is about whether women are better drivers than men.

The boys will point out there has never been a female Formula One champion. Women will say insurance statistics prove they are a better risk than men. Finally, ask a 4×4 instructor which is the best pupil and you will get the answer: women. They listen and don’t try to bliksem the vehicle to prove their testosterone levels.

From personal experience, I know both men and women who are so scary on the road that, if I am told they will be behind the wheel, I would rather walk.

That’s probably why the TV ad for VW’s “Volkswagen for Life” is so appealing.

We see a whole neighbourhood cringing in fear – or just plain ducking to safety – when the “learner driver” in the Golf is out on the streets. People know it’s going to be torture.

The car roars into the driveway – from an angle – and takes out the rubbish bin. The man of the house looks on in anguish as the car comes to an agonised halt, with the L plate on the rear window clearly visible. He looks at the young girl who gets out – and we instantly think she’s the culprit. But, no. She alights from the passenger side, looking as tormented as everyone else.

Out climbs the learner – a doek-wearing gogo, clearly Man of the House’s mum. And, be honest now – how can you shout at your mum?

The soothing message is, though: don’t stress, VW is always there to “Protect, Assist, Repair and Care”… all of which are clearly needed here. But, at the same time, it makes the point that your VW relationship is going to be for life (and these cars do last a long time – I know, I had a Jetta which I sold when it was 26 years old and it’s still going). And you know there will always be someone to help sort out the bad times.

It’s typical VW. It speaks to a great product with a dash of humour, as the company’s ads have done for 40 years, in a uniquely South African way.

Another Orchid for VW and its long-standing agency, Ogilvy.

There has been plenty written and said – a lot of it negative – about Absa’s new logo and how it looks worryingly similar to that of Telkom subsidiary Open Serve. That doesn’t really bother me because I know that in two years’ time, we will all have forgotten about the previous logo.

What does disturb me, though, is the bank’s new “African-acity” campaign. Supposedly a combination of Africa and tenacity, it hopes to portray Absa as not only looking to Africa for its future, but also saying it is tough and will be around a long time. African-acity is defined as “the distinctly African ability to always get things done”.

Fair enough. Some of the visuals are attractive, it must be said.

What I am trying to get my head around is the TV commercial, which is a general brand building one. As such, one would expect it to be as inclusive as possible.

So, at the risk of being tarred and feathered by the anti-racists, I have to ask: why are there no white people in your ad, Absa? Have they ceased to exist as your clients? Are white people not African enough to be capable of African-acity?

Whether you like it or not, race is a hot button issue and to run the risk of alienating or insulting some of your potential clients is just plain business recklessness.

So, Absa, collect your Onion…

Brendan Seery.

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