WATCH: SA’s school for side chicks (and guys) open for applications

I discovered Pinky Shange, or as she is more commonly known Pinky_Smalest, on Instagram after a wine and gossip-filled evening with a bunch of friends.

“Can you believe there is actually a woman on Instagram teaching other woman how to find our husbands and make them cheaters?” one said. Several gasps followed, along with instant hatred for a woman who none of us knew.

My interest was piqued, though, and after following her page for a few days, I realised there was so much more to Pinky than luring husbands. So, I slipped into her DMs and asked her to meet me, to which she instantly agreed.

Pinky is a force of nature, her loud and bubbly personality fills the coffee shop where we meet for our interview.

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I can tell from our conversation she is passionate about life, living unashamedly by her own rules. What she does may be contentious and, she says, “Yes, I do get threats”, but she refuses to change who she is.

She doesn’t want to destroy relationships and, as ironic as it may sound, her number one rule is “always respect the wife”.

“I’ve always been a side chick,” she says. “It’s what I prefer and how I want to live my life.”

Her Instagram page School for Sidechicks Live  does give one an opportunity to meet people, not just for hookups, but also for friendships and even long-term relationships.

The community she has created goes beyond what people label affairs. It’s also about sexual health and providing a platform to ask the kind of questions members may be too embarrassed to ask anywhere else.

She says in many families and communities, sex is still something not openly taught and Pinky is helping not only woman but men on her page.

Every so often while we speak, certain words catch the attention of a few patrons in the restaurant, some laugh while others glare.

Pinky definitely has no filter and I personally think she does not need it. There are things that should be spoken about. As an abuse survivor, she believes education is key in helping to prevent abuse.

She often has experts on her page during her live sessions, talking all things relationships and sex. Sex tips often flood her page from members and herself.

As we leave I tell her I may have even picked up a few great tips for myself.

• Coming soon: Part 2 – Pinky’s rules for being a good side chick