Zuma needs a change of heart

With new arteries, my heart is now enabled to do its job without goo hindering free flow.

With it, comes a new appreciation for life and how fortunate I am to be given an extended period on this planet – warts and all.

To crown it all, I made new friends – fellow patients – during dark periods experienced during hospitalisation.

Complete strangers at first, but soon bosom pals having come under the same knife and associated nightmares.

Among them were engineers, teachers, farmers and tradespeople, all with a common thread: coupled to machines monitoring blood pressure and every essential body movement 24/7.

Virtually overnight, we found ourselves cast into unfamiliar territory governed by medicos who call the tune. All we had to call our own was a sense of humour and, fortunately, our ward was brimful.

The constant laughter, through nose pipes, nebulizers and tightly strapped on oxygen masks, must’ve sounded to visitors like coming from Frankenstein in the making.

From Wimpie, the farm mechanic: “Hey, guys, heard this one? At election time, a coachload of politicians, including Jacob Zuma, runs off the road and crashes into a field. When the emergency services arrive, the coach is empty and there’s no sign of the passengers.

“The farmer is there with his tractor, so they asked him what happened to all the politicians.

“The farmer says ‘I buried them’.

“Taken aback, they asked: ‘They were all dead then?’

“The farmer said: ‘Well, some of them said they were alive, but you can’t believe anything a politician says, can you?’”

Three steamy nebulizers erupt in a paroxysm of horsey giggles. Sadly, the word Zuma is a rude reminder of reality out there.

Gets me thinking: what if the president and his corrupt cronies are given new hearts overflowing with love and understanding towards a nation battling with poverty, crime and uncertainty?

Imagine to be awakened one morning with the screaming headline: President has change of heart – calls it a day.

Not unlike us “bypass” folk, Zuma would feel better for it, also experiencing the blessing of a transformed life, and pass it on to others.

Cliff Buchler.