World can’t end on Bond’s watch

Perhaps it’s part of growing up – not that I intend to go that route pretty soon – or perhaps it’s inevitable that one eventually will see that your heroes are also fallible.

Either way, it still hurts when you realise they are as mortal as the rest of us and that their nemeses are not necessarily bigger, stronger or more intelligent. Through the decades, my favourite hero has been sent on many top-secret missions. He has saved the world economy from greedy warmongers, thawed the cold war, saved mankind from extinction by mad scientists and averted a host of other catastrophes engineered by the world’s leading psychopaths.

There has never been a giant, a midget, a model, or anybody in-between who could get the better of my hero. Best of all, he was always chic, stylish, impeccably dressed, and spoke the Queen’s English throughout all his endeavours, never ever resorting to foul language to reiterate a point. His name, of course, is Bond. James Bond.

For those of you who don’t know, Bond was “born” yesterday. Yes, 58 years ago, Bond appeared for the first time on the silver screen, called in to stop Dr No. Success against the evil doctor meant he was given even more dangerous assignments and with every success his reputation grew.

To this day, villains of all shapes and sizes tremble at the mere mention of his name, while women – inevitably of the shapely kind – feel their knees buckle when he orders a martini of the shaken variety. Well, until now that is. Turns out my favourite hero does have a nemesis which will keep him off the big screen until at least April next year: the coronavirus.

Sad to say, it was announced yesterday that the release of the latest Bond movie, No Time to Die, has been postponed yet again. I just hope planet Earth survives until then, because it would be a real disaster if the world implodes on James’ watch.

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