Why January feels like an entire year

January. The month that’s supposed to symbolise fresh starts, new goals and a shiny, hopeful future.

Except, instead of feeling like a clean slate, it feels like we’ve accidentally wandered into an eternal time loop. Seriously, how is it still January? It feels like we’ve been here forever.

Let’s face it – January is the longest “short” month ever. No matter how many days it officially has (a reasonable 31, they claim), it stretches out like a bad first date that just won’t end.

When January hits like a harsh fluorescent light in a nightclub at 3am, we’re left with a stark reminder that the magic is over, and the only thing waiting for us is a mountain of credit card debt and an inbox full of unread e-mails.

January is like the morning after a wild party – except the hangover lasts 31 days.

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January is the month where we all attempts to overhaul our lives with an unreasonable list of resolutions that we have no intention of keeping.

By mid-January, you’ve already broken three promises to yourself and now you’re stuck in an endless loop of guilt.

January is financially cursed. The last dependants from December feels like it happened in 2019 and the next pay day is so far away, you may as well start trading beans for goods and services.

Meanwhile, bills are due, groceries are expensive and your bank account is throwing error messages like “Insufficient funds” to even think about this”.

Every time you check your balance, you’re reminded that January has 31 days – 31 very, very long days.

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If you’re doing Dry January, congratulations on your willpower.

If you’re not, congratulations on surviving January with the help of happy hour.

Here’s the thing: time isn’t real in January.

It’s a month designed to feel like you’re living through six consecutive Mondays. Days crawl by, weeks feel like months and you start questioning if February is even a real thing or just a rumour.

Even when the calendar insists it’s only been three weeks, you feel like you’ve aged a decade.

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Honestly, January could probably file taxes as its own fiscal year.

If you’re wondering how to get through January without losing your mind, here’s some advice: embrace the slowness.

Lean into the chaos.

Until then, hang in there. We’re all in this endless month together. Maybe next January, it’ll only feel five months long.