Where are the fathers in our society?

There is a gap in society that allows men to abscond from responsibility.

It has become acceptable in society that when there is no father in the household, spectators are quick to question the capabilities of the mother.

The man who fathered the children is allowed to carry on as he pleases with not a care in the world, while women are expected to step up and be adult.

I am in no way suggesting women can go out for the weekend, leaving children unattended.

But it is the woman who must carry the man’s load, while remembering to submit to his every unreasonable whim.

“Sure, be head of the house while I regress back into childhood, but remember your place when I do make those occasional appearances as the family man.”

Where did this man, who creates discomfort for women and children, who grow up with absent and detached fathers, find his blueprint?

What is he modelled on and, for crying in a shiny steel bucket, when can we all acknowledge that in the year 2018 there is no place for this sort of man?

The argument is that if a real man was present in the household, then a role model would exist to guide young boys in the right direction.

Women would not have to wear two hats – that of mother and father – and raise a man with only the experience of ever being a woman.

Too many men are raised by single women who have to wing it because of absent fathers.

Let us admit that, growing up, even women have problems and yet society still expects them to overcome and keep life moving.

The truth is that society has made and accepted too many excuses for the weaknesses and failures of men.

The rapist never had a role model, the abusive spouse is only emulating his father, the philandering husband is only continuing a cycle he witnessed growing up – the excuses are never-ending.

The truth is, as a society on the whole, we are going wrong somewhere with the type of men we are raising.

We need to do something immediately to address this issue.

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo.

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