When short dresses inspire long debates

When you look at it from the scope of an open and democratic society, sure, sexism abounds in the idea of telling a lady what to wear.

From the perspective of a free society, you may start to find some balance. Freedom to wear what one wants against the freedom to voice dissatisfaction and react accordingly are generally two sides of the freedom coin that are tough to square.

In today’s narrative, it’s easy to simply side with the lady, mention that it’s just old people who take offence (an act of ageism in itself) and proceed to chant the equality chants.

What today’s narrative is loath to consider, though, is nuance. Would the frustration she’s unleashed within society be as collective if Mkhize walked in covered in blood, naked or, worse, in a DA shirt? Probably not. While this certainly doesn’t justify preventing her access to the Lekgotla based on her dress (which, by the way, hardly seemed short by today’s standards), it does pose the real consideration of degrees of acceptance.

The impression that one should just accept anything anyone wears as acceptable to a private event is not realistic.

The world is full of toing and froing in terms of what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. Yes, we are in a far better position than a century ago but to not be allowed to express any form of opinion and execute upon it may be a step too far. Companies, schools and even some churches have dress codes for a reason; image is important. Political parties, too, have image concerns that, in today’s world, are perfectly justified.

Being portrayed as a backward party of aged, perverted men certainly is not a good image for the party and they would have done well to handle that situation better. However, expecting senior members of an organisation to simply keep quiet without registering their dissatisfaction is also a significant (often overlooked) issue.

One cannot expect any organisation to function when matters are addressed simply through a narrative of this is who I am … accept me. Similarly, one cannot expect an organisation to function when members of that organisation are too uncomfortable to be a functional part of the sum due to treatment by the other integers.

Ideally, this situation would never have occurred. Ideally, either Mkhize would have acknowledged the potential for her dress to upset some and avoided wearing it to this particular occasion or, preferably, nobody would have kicked up a fuss and she’d have been welcomed in and after a conversation to address the issue with all sides heard.

But no. This is not the way we do things anymore. We need to be seen to be fighting, to be asserting ourselves and positions. There seems to be no room for compassion and understanding any longer; no desire to reach out and engage with the concerns of others.

This is evident in the simple action of denying access based on a dress and even in the response by Mkhize: “I am not going to shrink to make men or anyone comfortable.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not claiming any expectation that she should “shrink” and I do think that it is a false dichotomy she’s created there. I am, however, pointing out the situation we’re in as factions assert rather than address.

Honestly, I have no dog in this specific fight. I don’t think the dress is offensive at all and, even if I did, a dress wouldn’t make me want to keep the wearer out. But that’s just me and I should let the ANC do the ANC.

What I will suggest to them is that they should consider their past statements defending Thandile Sunduza who, at seven months pregnant, rocked a yellow boobtube dress to the 2014 SONA … and it was not that much longer than that of Mkhize’s. 

Responding to disgraceful online comments and articles, the ANC dismissed them, at the time, as cyberbullying, sexism and gender objectification.

Is the ANC less progressive now than it was in 2014 on this issue?

Who knows? Let’s wait and hear how they respond. My bet is on a response including the phrase “isolated incident of misunderstanding”.

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