Weekend planning is essential

Life is all about planning ahead. The better the planning, the better your chance of success.

Take Saturday’s Super Rugby quarterfinal between the Lions and the Sharks, for example.

If you want to be assured of watching the game, you’d better have all your ducks in a row, before the missus makes alternative plans.

Women tend to do that sometimes: they can plan your day down to the last torturous second.

You think you’re off to the butcher for a Blue Bull steak and a bag of wood when she informs you that your first stop for the Saturday is at the mega hardware store.

So the two of you start browsing – and she’s pushing a trolley.

“Wouldn’t this shelf look lovely above the mirror in the bathroom?”

Fact is, you’ve never thought about a shelf there. Or about a towel warming rail or new handles for the drawers on her dressing table or a new spice rack.

“What do you think? I can’t decide between the Desert Daybreak and Kalahari Dusk.”

For a moment you think she’s multi-tasking. A getaway is exactly what you need. And you’re owed a couple of days off work.

But reality is a slap in the face. Who thinks up these names? What colour is Kalahari Dusk? What happened to orange and blue and turqoise and peach? By now you’re pushing the trolley. Not because you’re in a hurry to get to Tops, but because it’s way too heavy for her.

It’s overloaded with tasks just for you. Your only comfort is that you’re not alone. The shop seems filled with subservient Lion-shirted men buying wheelbarrows full of work.

And the closest you’ll all get to the game is watching the highlights package after the Sunday night movie.

“Can we first put up the new rail? I can’t wait to hang those new curtains.” It’s the final nail.

The word “we” is a sure sign that she’ll be supervising your Saturday home improvements. Still planning on watching Saturday’s game?

I suggest you stop reading immediately and buy stadium tickets for the family. Surprise her, before she surprises you.

Danie Toerien