We should all be feminists, especially us men

Bell Hooks said: “Simply put, feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation and oppression. I liked this definition because it does not imply that men were the enemy.”

I think that is the most simplified definition of feminism.

Perhaps, if seeing life through the lenses of feminism emasculates you, let’s stick to another old human rights issue we have been battling with as a people. Equality.

It is best defined as: “The state of being equal, especially in status, rights or opportunities.”

Every year in August, we host seminars, hear pastors preach about the Proverbs 31 woman, and we are bombarded with facts, figures, graphics and articles that show the progress (or lack thereof) of equality in our country since the heroic demonstrations of 1956.

That is all good and well. However, there is little or no participation of men in these battles. The fact that 64 years ago, women fought alone is testament to the fact that a black woman is on her own.

I remain perplexed by the reluctance of us men to promote and actively participate in gender equality, especially at home, workplaces and all the fundamental places we find ourselves in.

In many homes, a woman’s place is still in the kitchen. Yet the list of the world’s best chefs is dominated by men. How ironic.

As boys and men, we still have this illusion that women are born with the gene to cook for us, clean after us and ensure that we have clean clothes. It is an absurdity of the highest order.

We still remove ourselves from the issues of nurturing ourselves. We are still stuck on gender roles, which usually excuses us from home chores.

It does get worse. We police what women wear. Women still cannot dress the way they like or feel without being harassed by men in malls, taxi ranks and so on. Yet, it’s still okay for us men to wear shorts, walk around the house or our yards topless with bellies hanging out.

I will repeat this point I made a few years ago: women don’t feel safe in their houses. They tighten up the security. They have their doors and windows burglar-barred, etc. All these security features are in place because they fear intruders (men).

Women are still victims of domestic violence at the hands of the men in our country. Women are victims of murder at the hands of the very same men in our country. Men who are in relationships with them kill them. If they don’t want to be with you any more, you let them go. Women cannot walk freely in their neighbourhoods in the afternoons or evenings.

They cannot jog in the late evening; they cannot walk their dogs or walk to the nearest store without fear. Young girls can’t even be looked after by their uncles.

You see, as men, we are the ones delaying the dreams of Mama Winnie, Mme Lillian Ngoyi, Mme Helen Joseph and Mme Rahima Moosa. Sixty-four years on, we are the reason why things haven’t sped up. Women are lagging behind because of us men.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie defines feminism this way: “My own definition is a feminist is a man or a woman who says, yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better. All of us, women and men, must do better.”

I’m not saying feminism is the answer to all our problems. Nevertheless, as Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie further said, “I believe we should all be feminist.”

Kabelo Chabalala.

• Kabelo Chabalala is the founder and chairperson of the Young Men Movement (YMM), an organisation that focuses on the reconstruction of the socialisation of boys to create a new cohort of men. Email, kabelo03chabalala@gmail.com; Twitter, @KabeloJay; Facebook, Kabelo Chabalala

For more news your way, download The Citizen’s app for iOS and Android.