Wacky error ‘pick us’ show

The rain beat down on the windscreen as the battered Mini spluttered to a halt. Moozi glanced at Lindee in the passenger seat.

“We’re going nowhere, Comrade…”

“But there is a place up ahead there – maybe they can help us,” she responded.

Moozi looked up at the blue castle on the hill… “Looks a bit creepy, don’t you think?”

Lindee said: “It might be our last chance…”

As the imposing heavy wooden door opened to their knock, they were blinded by the pure, white light inside. As their eyes adjusted, they saw a hunchback woman – “My name’s Hell-in”, she cackled.

“Let me take you to the doctor.”

Emerging from the shadows, a man in a white lab coat and clutching a fizzing test tube, said in a judicially well-modulated voice: “Good evening, I’m Doctor Frank N Furter…”

“But you look just like Tony Leon,” Moozi burst out.

“How could I be? Tony is no longer involved in this sort of thing?” Frank N Furter replied, staring direct into Moozi’s eyes before adding:

“Why don’t you come up to the lab … and see what’s on the slab?”

Moozi was scared, as was Lindee, but they followed the mad scientist, intrigued by his charisma. Hell-in worried them a bit as she tagged along behind, cackling, “It’s astounding, Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll…”

Frank N Furter swirled around, grabbed Hell-in in his arms as they began singing: “Let’s do the time warp again….”

“It’s just a jump to the left. And a step to the right…”

He turned to Moozi: “You are the typical 98-pound political weakling. But, in just seven days … I can make you a man…”

Frank N Furter went on: “But, let’s not call it an experiment. Let’s just say it’s our gift to you. Reparations if you will.”

Moozi looked unsure – and then Lindee jumped in: “How can it hurt? It might be nice to taste their privilege…”

“Exactly!” roared the doctor, “Also we won’t need the Coconut machine, which is first part of the process – because you two are almost there.”

Moozi and Lindee lay down on the slab as the doctor and Hell-in busied themselves with injecting large vials of liberalism, capitalism and minority rights. Just to be safe, they also inserted the Bill Gates 5G chips, so their creatures could be controlled remotely.

“Doctor,” asked Hell-in as the two projects lost consciousness, “what if they start to think for themselves?”

The Doctor scratched his frizzy head and said: “As long as we keep them fat and happy, that shouldn’t happen. It’s difficult for a conscience to grow back when you’re living in a material world.”

He started dancing before remembering “Sorry, that’s Madonna – wrong musical.”

Glancing at the glass case where a man was held in suspended animation, clutching a matric certificate, Hell-in said: “And, in the words of the Eagles, we still have Johnnie-come-lately, the new
kid in town…”

Soon, Moozi and Lindee awoke and were ready to head back: “Be fruitful and multiply our faithful,” Frank N Furter said to them as they climbed into the shiny Toyota Fortuner (from a well-wisher) which had replaced Moozi’s Mini.

The Doctor glanced at Hell-in and began: “I love it when an experiment – let’s call it a plan, rather – comes together…”

Glancing at the now rising moon, they sang: “Wo oh oh oh oh oh At the late night, double feature, picture show…”