Don’t deploy our police to the Olympics, send our politicians instead

The eyes of the world will be on Paris, France, this weekend as the 2024 Olympic Games get underway. It means for a few weeks a lot of the attention given to politicians and their shenanigans will be stolen.

A total of 149 South Africans will compete in 21 sporting codes at the games, and we will send 15 police officers to help maintain order.

But perhaps we are better off keeping the police back home to fight crime and to send our politicians to beef up our medal hopes.

Mashaba in the pool

SA has only sent a handful of swimmers to the Olympics, with our chances of medals perhaps not as good as they have been in previous games.

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That could all change if someone chucked ActionSA leader Herman Mashaba a costume.

Every good swimmer knows the key to winning a race is how efficiently you turn on the wall to change direction for your next lap.

The politician who prided himself on “not being like the others” and rode two elections on the promise of never working with the ANC has suddenly got into bed with the enemy in Johannesburg.

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His U-turn was so quick it made Michael Phelps look like an oil tanker.

He said it was to save Johannesburg and had the blessing of his voters. I wonder how many of them will be left in 2026.

Ramaphosa in the marathon

It is hard not to be excited by record-breaking Comrades Marathon runner Gerda Steyn representing South Africa at the Olympics. She is an incredible talent that continues to make South Africa proud.

She could do with a partner on the road though, in the form of our president, Cyril Ramaphosa.

If he can make it on time for the start of the race, Ramaphosa has the endurance to keep going long after many have wondered if he should have call it quits already.

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Several national addresses that could have been emails, including a pre-election “family meeting” in court this week, have left many of us convinced the only thing stopping him is the end of the road.

And like any good marathon runner, you never know when he is going to finally overtake a more flashy athlete to end up first across the line.

Mashatile the medalist?

Ramaphosa’s executive may resemble a potjie of political parties, ideologies and egos, but he still has the same right-hand man as before May’s election.

Paul Mashatile is the leader of government business in Parliament. He is responsible for Cabinet working efficiently and all rowing in the same direction.

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Mashatile’s track record so far may be spotty at best but he is going to have to work like an Olympics-level Coxswain to steer the boat, announce the race plan and motivate the rowers.

Among his top priorities, as this week reminded us, will have to be crime, poverty alleviation, and fighting racism.

Cabinet in the sky

While private jets and diving boards don’t look anything alike, we have several ministers who love to be airborne.

The ministerial perks of fancy overseas flights and accommodation are so enticing that less than a month after the Cabinet was announced half a dozen ministers or their deputies are out of the country on “business”.

This week saw taxpayers pay for trips to Germany for deputy health minister Joe Phaahla, the US for Trade and Industry Minister Parks Tau, and Russia for his deputy Zuko Godlimpi.

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North West Premier Lazarus Kagiso Mokgosi is also in Germany, while Minister of Environment, Forestry and Fisheries Dr Dion George is in China.

And, of course, Sports Minister Gayton McKenzie is in Paris for the Olympics.

We have heard the man who wants the F1 Grand Prix to return to SA has taken up running. Maybe he can do a couple of laps for us while he is there.

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