Valentine’s Day: Character more important than beauty for an ideal partner?

So, its Valentine’s Day and no doubt there will be a splash of red everywhere you go in South Africa and across the globe on the day of love.

The pefect love

While men will be wooing their loved ones with roses, chocolates and even a romantic night out on Valentine’s Day, some might be considering what an ideal partner would be for them.

Is it blond hair and blue eyes, the brunette with the green eyes or the stunning African beauty with satin skin and dark eyes?

For me, it has always been the character of a person.

For those that don’t believe me, I will concede that looks do matter, but it is part of many ingredients that make the ideal partner for me.

Marriage

I was married before and it took the second attempt to really appreciate and experience what true love is.

Sometimes you make mistakes and don’t get it right the first time, perhaps because of pressure from your parents or that your friends are all getting married.

My wife and I were made for each other, but we didn’t know it at the time.

She was in another country, while I was in South Africa and we didn’t know the other existed, but I think our marriage was destined.

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Struggles

However, it took a lot of pain, struggles and a long road filled with hardship and thorns to get where we are today.

When I told a friend in Turkey about our love story, he said it would make a best-selling book or a great movie.

While I would like go into details of our destiny, it may take forever to narrate all the details.

If you watched the South African movie Free State, you will probably get an idea of the journey my wife and I travelled to get where we are.

The movie revolves around love battles, oppression and racism as a white woman and an Indian man begin a forbidden love affair during apartheid.

While my wife and I didn’t encounter the horrors of the apartheid era, we did have enormous challenges including the prejudices of the Indian, Muslim, white and other communities in our marriage.

We didn’t even have a perfect wedding that many brides dream about. We were married in my mother’s lounge with just a few people. Others refused to attend and shunned our union for many years until the character of my wife proved that love trumps colour and prejudice.

Even our children were not spared. But I must say falling in love is magic and love knows no color or race.

Destiny

All married couples have arguments and fights, sometimes intensely. But my wife and I cannot live without each other. That’s because we know how hard it was to get where we are.

This is the ingredient that keeps us together. The experience and intensity of our meeting and the flower that bloomed from our love is firmly set in our hearts.

While trying to get the perfect partner is like finding a needle in a haystack, it can be heaven on earth when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

You may not get it right the first time, but when you do find that perfect love, that essence of what makes a perfect partner, you will realise that love goes beyond physical beauty.

Marriage

The successful marriage is not when you can live in peace with your wife, but when you can’t live in peace without her love.

With marriage and its commitments, comes tranquility, affection and mercy.

So, as you dote upon your partner on Valentine’s Day, think about what makes them special and why they are the perfect person to share your life with.

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