Two old pals just talk bull

After Louis Liebenberg’s walkout and demanding his money back in my last make-believe episode, Jacob reserved a table for his capin-hand meeting with Schabir at a trendy restaurant in Durban. Believe it or not, the eatery is called Zuma. A weird coincidence.

“Hi, my good benefactor, looking at you one would never imagine you were yanked away from death’s door.”

“Hi, comrade. It’s you I need to thank. Now it’s your turn to defy death.”

“There’s the rub, Schabir. It takes moolah to duck the courts.”

Schabir bypasses Jacob’s obvious hint.

“You enjoy the support of the chief jailer and doctor. They can pull the same stunt.”

“He-he. Must say you were cheeky pitching up at the golf course and throwing punches.”

“Yeh. But a stupid move – it attracted the pesky press.”

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“He-he. But as I was saying, the costs of a lawyer are astronomical. I know this because I still can’t work out the figures if they’re more than six. But Mpho has kept me out of jail. I owe him.”

The wily coffin dodger again skirts the subject.

“What do you think of the Cyril saga? Is he going to survive?”

“Not sure, but it comes at an opportune time. His case has the attention of the whole nation.”

“You’re not thinking properly, Jacob. This is your chance at a comeback. The Retrogressive faction and Toy Soldier with his uMkhonto buddies should be enough to get you over the line. Then there are the fingered Cabinet ministers. They’ll vote you in on principle.”

“Schabir, it would be pleasing to back in the limelight and kill my ‘impending passing’. And I haven’t the energy.”

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“Comrade, you’ve got sangomas with muti to equip you to compete with Cyril’s prize bull.”

“But I’m tired of showering. And I’ve lost interest in my wives after being nearly poisoned by one of them. But please, Schabir, let’s look at my meagre moolah situation. You’ve heard about the gold digger? First he gives me a handout, then demands it back. So the main reason why I called you, is to…”

“Shh, Jacob. Walls have ears. Think of a drop-off place – other than a sofa. Savvy? Now Let us get out of here.”

Jacob skips out of the restaurant.

“Must modify the fire pool pump well. Better than a sofa.”