To grow up, you’ll need to lose some friends

Growing up, for as long as I can remember, I have always been a people’s person, hence in primary and my early years of high school I was in large friendship groups where I was friends with almost everyone.

A part of me having a lot of friends was due to me being the only child to my parents and so I always wanted to have a valid reason as to why I came back home dusty from playing indigenous games outside.

A few minutes after the Apollo street lights came on, which was my indicator that the sun has set and the 6pm news bulletin was about to begin.

As time went by in my high school career and as I matured, large friendship groups no longer made sense to me, in and out of school, and not only was there endless drama among the group, but because I gravitated towards people I related to.

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Little did I know that some of those friendships would not survive my tertiary and working years. This year, I had to bury friendships that I formed from my early childhood years that I never thought would end.

And this is not because I simply gave up on the friendships, but because they became strenuous and nonreciprocal, which led to me introspect and choose piece of mind.

I also thought of the saying that goes: “You are not growing up if you are not losing friends,” which I agree and disagree with. In my instance, yes, I had to make a decision which required maturity on my part.

But had I been younger I do not think my reasons would have been the same back then as they are now because I was still naive about friendships and all that they came with in your life.

The reason I also disagree with the quote is because sometimes you may be the reason why you are losing friends and the villain in your own story.

I think it is vital to look at the contribution made by both parties to an end of any relationship because relationships are a two-way street.

I think friendships are beautiful when they are healthy, because not only do you have a friend in a person but that person eventually feels like a family member.

That is, if you were friends long enough and because of the strong bond which has been created.

ALSO READ: How friendships can help your health

I am one person who nurtures any relationships I form – whether romantic or not – and I understand that as people we are different.

However, what I have noticed, especially in my adult years, is that people forget that maintaining healthy relationships means pulling your weight and showing up, in whatever way that makes sense to you.

I do not think any relationship should be one-sided. Life is already stressful enough and friendships should be a safe and calm environment for both parties.

My mom teases me about how I have taken after her in not having a lot of friends and always asks me if I will have three friends at an event whenever I decide to host one.

The truth is, I have become more than okay with the small number of friends I have, because at the end of the day, it boils down to who is genuine and reciprocates the energy I give.

Is that too much to ask for?