There’s little time left for ANC before elections

The past months, I have fabricated a story about Rocky, the miniature pinscher’s nursery school career for four-year-old Egg’s entertainment.

She believes I drop him off at the fictitious Pinocchio Nursery School every morning and pick him up again after work.

This week, Egg received her report card from her own nursery school. I’m convinced the teacher confused her with someone else, because there is no mention of foul language or tantrums in the document. But I had to give her the benefit of the doubt and congratulated her on an excellent report.

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“I don’t think Rocky’s report card will be as good as mine,” she said.

“Who knows,” I said. “Pinocchio hands their report cards out on Wednesday. Maybe he’ll surprise us.”

Which, of course, meant that I had to create and extensive report on the rascal’s progress as a pupil in Pinocchio’s imaginary Little Giraffes class and send it to the lovely Snapdragon’s phone.

“I have never been a supporter of pups attending human nursery schools and Rocky has proved me correct,” wrote “Miss Jones”.

“He is a naughty little dog. His colouring is terrible, he refuses to colour within the lines and he can’t roll a snake out of clay. As a matter of fact, he eats the play dough. At lunchtime, he doesn’t use his spoon. He growls at his classmates and never shares his toys.”

That evening, she told me she knew Rocky’s report card would be bad.

“But worst of all, is the drawing he made of himself.”

I’m still hurt by this cruel attack on my abilities as an artist. Apart from Rocky, who continued to chase the cat and steal cookies, the entire family was devastated by Rocky’s performance.

Even my mother-in-law sent me a message: “It’s not the end of the world. There’s still half a year left for him to improve.”

Which is more than we can say for the ANC. There is preciously little time left before the October municipal elections – a report card in which the voters of SA will evaluate the ruling party’s performance when it comes to their imaginary service delivery.

Dear reader, you and I will be the “Miss Joneses” who will have to measure our local governments’ progress.

I don’t know about you, but my red pencil is sharpened.