There’s a future in JZ’s past

It’s the year 5020 and a group of archaeologists descend on what was the home of infamous president Jacob Zuma, known then as Nkandla.

Locals give it a wide berth, believing it’s haunted (that is, after stripping it of all usable material).

Only an empty shell covered in weeds and bushes remains – not unlike the Zimbabwe Ruins in a country ruined by another disreputable leader, Mad Dog Mugabe. The irony is not lost when considering Zuma did the same to South Africa.

Why the archaeological interest in a derelict monstrosity with an ugly legacy? It should’ve been razed, the property used for housing, hospitals or schools.

The reason for the interest is triggered in a museum in Joburg, now called City of Amaphupho (dreams), by a news item an American scientist spots on a yellowed page of a newspaper, The Citizen, dated 1 April, 2021.

“Zuma flees to New Delhi from his bunker at Nkandla, leaving behind his possessions”.

Thinks the scientist: Wow! A bunker filled with chattel belonging to a man known to have materially benefitted from politics.

The news item adds that police on arrival find the bunker completely sealed, having to use explosives to gain entry. They let it be.

The scientist goes into Indiana Jones mode: “There could be gold bricks. Or a safe filled with Krugerrands”.

Armed with picks, shovels and explosives, they dig their way through the rubble until they come upon the sealed entrance.

A few sticks of dynamite do the trick and they’re in Shangri La. Indiana Jones is disappointed.

Shower gel hanging on a rope is of no value to an archaeologist. Perhaps a 3 000-year-old Nespresso coffee machine made famous by the actor George Clooney might have historical significance?

The built-in safe. An acetylene torch gains entry. Only a Louis Vuitton handbag is wedged deep inside the safe.

A note written on a pink sheet is the only content. “My Dear Jacob, please hide the bag – the cops are sniffing around. Love, Dudu.”

That find would’ve gone a long way in arresting Zuma much earlier and preventing his escape.

But the scientists miss its history and importance to a hijacked country. Indiana Jones would’ve done better.

Cliff Buchler.

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