The world is just full of leaders who can’t lead

And so the elections continue. We had South Africa, we had Europe, we’re about to do the UK, France looms, as does Rwanda, Syria and Venezuela, and then a host of other global polls until come November possibly the most divisive vote of all takes place, and certainly the most potentially apocalyptic: the presidential election in the United States of America.

You might have heard?

Thursday saw the first US debate between the incumbent, Ancient Uncle Joe, and the “excumbent”, Pervy Uncle Donald – both way past retirement age, might I add, and how I wish they both would.

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But they haven’t so this is what we saw on Thursday: the slow-motion train wreck of croaky, fumbling, forgetful Joe – and I’m no doctor, but he seems to have dementia – which was so cringeworthy it eclipsed the pathological lies of the felon and braggard Don, who brazenly told 30 whoppers – and I’m no psychiatrist, but he seems to be a paranoid narcissist.

No, this wasn’t a debate, my friends, but a debacle. It was like two unstable pensioners squabbling at quiz night.

So what? you might say.

It’s happening far away and we have our own problems right here – and yet where the US leads, the rest of the world follows, or is dragged along.

I desperately want not to care, but given that both of these men have, or have had, access to the detonation codes for the world’s second largest nuclear arsenal, given that one of them will control the big red button for the next four years, I cannot help being worried – and even more so since Mad Vlad Putin holds the biggest stockpile of all.

I wouldn’t leave any of them alone to mind a baby for an afternoon, so four years minding world peace is patently ridiculous… and yet here we are.

Who then, if not these old white men? And why old white men at all?

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Is this the finest the US has to offer?

Is this truly the zenith of American competence, integrity and leadership? Or its nadir?

And I look then to the rest of the word: Cartoon Keir Starmer vs robot Rishi Sunak?

Fascist Marine le Pen vs hubristic Emmanuel Macron?

And down south, at home, Cyril, John, Julius… frikkin Jacob Zuma? Is this really the best we can do?