The secret to a long marriage

Having just celebrated 30 years of marriage, surprisingly to the same woman, I find myself being asked more and more what the secret to a long marriage is. Well, it’s quite simple: marriage is like the weather.

In the long term, we know that every year we will go through the four seasons. The cycle is eternal. Spring, summer, autumn, winter, repeat. In marriage, it’s the same.

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There are times when it’s so cold that hell freezes over. When that happens, it’s best to make a fire. But start small. Take the pages that contain all the bad news in your life and crumple them up. Add some kindling – the little twigs that somehow end up in your Crocs and stab you in the toes when you least expect it. Pile them up on the paper. Now light your fire.

Yes, there will be smoke and your eyes will water, but that will quickly make way for some small, dancing flames.

Next, go for something bigger: the logs that have been accumulating in your life. Add them one by one, and let them turn to ash. Some will burn quickly, but some will be so tough that you might think they will extinguish the fire.

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Whatever you do, don’t throw petrol on the fire. That’s when the house burns down. No matter how long and cold the winter, spring will come…

In marriage, one can easily have all four seasons in a day. But when winter strikes, you don’t move to warmer pastures. You drive the cold away. In the short term, the weather is actually more unpredictable.

What seems to be a little thunder shower building up, can very quickly turn into a monster, causing a flash flood that sees the house covered in mud. Marriage is the same.

But you don’t abandon your house after the flood. You clean, you rebuild, and then you ensure that you are prepared for the next storm. After the storm, you appreciate the sunshine even more.

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Marriage is as harsh, unpredictable, wonderful, sunny, calm and stormy as the weather. The secret is to ride out the storms and enjoy every ray of sunshine.