The problem with the sticks and stones mentality

Can it really be so much more difficult to raise a daughter than a son?

When my son grew up, I was worried about him from time to time, but mostly it was fun and laughter.

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My daughter, on the other hand, is a totally different cup of tea.

This week, I received a message from the lovely Snapdragon. It was a message she has sent to little Egg’s teacher.

“My heart is broken,” she wrote. “A classmate called little Egg fat. I take this extremely serious and don’t think it is funny in the least.”

To the school’s credit, the teacher was just as serious about what had happened. The teacher promised to make work of the nasty incident and, by the next morning, the head of the junior department had spoken to both girls.

Harsh words had been exchanged between the teacher and the culprit. The entire class group had been addressed and the teacher explained how dangerous body shaming can be to any little girl in the long term.

“Yes, it hurts,” Egg explained when I spoke to her. And I believe her, because I know she’s not fat. She was a plump little toddler, but careful management and lots of long walks with her dad changed things.

“Remember the story about Goldilocks and the three bears?” I asked her. “That part where Goldilocks said that one bowl of porridge wasn’t too hot, nor to cold? It was just right.” She nodded.

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“That is just the way you are,” I told her. “Not too skinny, not overweight, just right.” I put her onto my extremely clever smart scale, and within seconds the scale gave it’s verdict: “Weight: normal. BMI: normal.”

“Now it’s your turn to get onto the scale,” Egg said. I declined. Smart scales are good at putting little girls’ weight in context. Not older fathers’.

I’d love to tell you my words made her smile again, dear reader. But they didn’t. The pen may be mightier than the sword. But the spoken word… the bite of a rabid dog has nothing on the terrible effects a spoken word can have.

A spoken word is like an arrow shot from a bow. Once it’s released, it can’t be un-released. It’s out there for ever and nothing can change it.