The mixed effects of DNA fiddling

Evidently, scientists are now able to eradicate a number of hereditary diseases such as cystic fibrosis and breast cancer.

They do this by “fixing” faulty DNA in an embryo by removing the gene responsible. In other words, the baby whose genes have been edited grows up without the threat of pain and suffering caused by these monster diseases.

If these experiments prove successful, it opens up the possibility of tackling other debilitating afflictions such as Huntington’s disease and dwarfism. Can we expect a new generation without pain? Just the thought staggers the brain.

Talking of which, can the brain, too, be fiddled with, making for more intelligence and tolerance. If a father, or grandfather, is known to have a weak IQ and a short fuse, can the DNA in embryos of future babies in the family be panel-beaten so that they are born clever and nice? Take my make-up.

If a scientist could’ve dug into my DNA when it was still doing breaststroke, removing some of the bad traits passed on by my forefathers, just think what a lekker guy I would’ve turned out to be. Soft-spoken, forbearing, unbiased, liberal and unprejudiced. A model for my children to emulate.

And my Heidi would’ve had a near-perfect husband, one who would obey her every whim and not object to washing the dishes and vacuuming the carpets. And putting the toilet seat down during my nightly visits although, maybe, the edited brain would tell me there is no need to go, allowing me, and Heidi, to sleep through.

But then again, given my birth history, I reckon scientists would’ve had difficulty reading my DNA. I was born fat and flat, giving the midwife a hard time during the extraction process. The umbilical cord, too, proved tough as rawhide, taking a long time to saw through with a bread knife.

See, my dad had a healthy appetite for steaks. I ended up with mom Maggie’s obsession with personal hygiene and her deep-seated hatred of smoking.

There are two things I wouldn’t want changed. My dad’s abhorrence of politicians and religious extremists. They have become part and parcel of my DNA.

Cliff Buchler.