Don’t shift responsibility rather teach your children well

We blame society for how our children turn out. But remember, we are society. I say this thinking of the children we are raising who become lawless adults and who create a society that is rich in self-doubt.

Unaccountable parents, who constantly shift the blame in times of error, only reinforce a lesson in children that, if you’re caught in the wrong, you shift responsibility to the point where you garner enough sympathy to get away with bad behaviour.

We have come to be afraid of the people to whom we gave birth … unaccountable children, becoming adults defined by lawlessness.

It is these same adults who must, in turn, raise their own children. What lesson will they be teaching? Probably to be a reflection of their parents, the aggressors.

The alternative is to be different from their parents, but they then become victims. It goes without saying that nobody seeks to be classified as a victim. As parents, we really are to blame for how our children turn out.

Often we are too busy to pay attention and too disengaged to see what is happening in our children’s lives.

There is nothing wrong with building a legacy for our children, working hard for their benefit – but what good will it be if we neglect those very children and they end up in prisons, morgues or rehabilitation facilities? We make up the world that we reside in, good or bad.

Though at times we cannot control what our children become, a stable, disciplined home environment serves as a foundation for the growth of a stable, honest adult.

The question many adults have to ask themselves is: have we given our children this foundation or are we waiting for the streets to do this on our behalf before we turn around and blame everyone else and every other circumstance for what our children become?

The lesson here for adults is this: do not show your children how to shift blame. Rather, teach them how to own up to their mistakes and learn from them.

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo