Talking. Picture: Twitter
I am by no means the type to strike up a conversation with the person in front of me in a queue. A random chat with a random stranger is something my mother warned me against as a child.
That, and taking candy from a stranger. That was even more dangerous and I was taught from a young age to run and scream if ever I was offered sweets by a friendly old lady.
But it does seem that some people just can’t help themselves when it comes to babbling.
Although this is fortunately not something that happens to me daily, there have been the odd occasion when I have been confronted by a serial talker.
The topics they come up with, range from the absolutely amazing to the outright frightening – and I mean Freddy Krueger kind of scary, actually.
Just the other day I was caught between a really slow cashier in a grocery store and a pony-tailed talkaholic.
To be honest, it wasn’t much of a conversation. A better description would be for me to call myself a captive one-man audience at a comedy show in the theatre of the absurd.
As an opening line, the stranger pointed out a beautiful young woman in a slightly too skimpy dress, saying how sorry he felt for her not being able to afford more material to complete her dress.
Seeing my smile, he interpreted this as a sign to continue – with a lot more flair. He did a whole skit on how some youngsters manage to turn an ordinary shopping trolley into a walker. He was brilliant, and nimble as a cat, considering that he’s already in his early 70s. A random fact that formed part of his performance.
By now I was giggling. And I was also not the only audience member.
The cashier was mesmerized and had come to a complete sitstill.
My attempt to get the process of paying back to speed, brought out another performance: demonstrating why an octopus would make the perfect cashier, it really did look as if the amateur comedian did indeed have eight arms.
By then I was in stitches.
I was somewhat disappointed to pay and leave, bringing a premature end to the show.
Talking to strangers isn’t always bad. Next time an old lady offers me candy, I’m taking it.
Danie Toerien.
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