Stylish, homeless, and unstoppable

Don’t be offended but you need to hear my favourite moffie’s voice today – and it’s the politically incorrect and very unwoke “moffie” you must forgive me for but that’s the way he likes it.

“Sticks and stones, Doll, sticks and stones,” he laughs over his first coffee in my kitchen. “I’m your moffie and I won’t have it any other way.”

But he has little to laugh about these days for he is homeless and travels around in his 20-year-old Renault “Gogga”, sans her back seats and packed to the hilt with all his earthly possessions.

My home became a bed for two nights over the weekend before he moves on again this morning.

“I’m becoming the original Bag Lady,” he says as he whips out a fabulous outfit for the day from his duffel bag. He is, in fact, the most stylish homeless person I know: flowing kaftans, bold striped flowing pants topped off with an exquisite necklace and one of his 40 trendy sunglasses.

If you don’t believe me, see for yourself on TikTok. There, GayHomelessinJohannesburg posts to his over 2 400 followers – and growing by the day – sharing his journey.

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He calls TikTok his brain fart. “I sat crying on my balcony and thought: why not tell the universe my story.” That was two days before Christmas. By Christmas Eve he had over 1 000 followers and my Christmas celebration went viral through his videos – all seven that he posted throughout the evening.

But I can understand why his fans grow by the day: he’s quirky, funny, spontaneous and, of course, does it all in true moffie style.

He’s a born storyteller. You won’t only meet “Gogga” in one of his minute videos, you’ll see him buying cheap ciggies at the spaza shop complete with “doek” wrapped around the head.

I know some of the stories you must still hear; growing up as a maplotter just outside Joburg how he loved the abundance of the universe. “Doll, we grew everything on that plot: veggies, granadillas, prickly pears. Jabu and I ran wild there growing up together.”

But also the darker side of that running wild: how the bees stung his new little puppy to death; his battle for acceptance growing up with a brother trying to beat him up all the time; a father who couldn’t care less.

So when he cried in his wine last night, I understood. “Life’s not always just happiness and smiles, Doll. Not always…”

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